Tuesday, July 12, 2011

//GB// Marriage Myth #1

**Hi friends! I am on vacation until July 15th. Til then you're in the hands of some of my best friends. See ya in a week!** -JM

Myth #1: Spouses Should Keep One Another Humble

I once emailed a pastor’s wife to get some ideas on ways to encourage my husband in the ministry. Her response, “helping him not get ‘puffed up’ when he has received too many compliments.” This answer was a quite disturbing to me. Scripture nowhere says: “humble one another.” Quite the opposite is true. Scripture always implores us to exhort one another. Take, for instance, Hebrews 3:13: “Encourage one another daily lest your heart become hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.” I’m curious as to how this idea was birthed & then reproduced so rapidly in a place that’s supposed to be a continual force of loving one another—in the home. 

That said, this conception--like a virus--has infiltrated the church & become detrimental to many. It needs to be exposed. Unfortunately, we can’t undo our words & actions from the past, but we can change our way of thinking & actions as we move into the future. 

How's this work? Here's a simple way to think of it:  perceive the power of God in the people of God. That's right: our husbands are God's people. They are sons; children, whom God loves. And it is our calling as wives to recognize God's power at work in their day-to-day operations. 

I don’t think encouraging one another comes naturally for everyone. It probably doesn’t come naturally for most of us! And yet, as unnatural as it is, God uses an uplifting word in due season in the lives of our spouses in the most powerful ways. Just ask them how much it means. You have no idea.... So much so that God reminds us that our speech should "only" contain edifying words (read Ephesians 4:29; seriously, read it). In God's plan, there is no room for humbling speech. That's right: wives who perceive themselves as humblers are really just grumblers.

I should also note: encouragement is not just a marital thing. It applies to any and every relationship. It has relevance to parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, neighbors, sales associates--basically all those whom God has placed in our sphere of influence. Let us aim to be known for our encouraging and inspirational leadership--issuing words give courage to, not take courage from, those whom we come in contact with. There are so many places (work, school, families) where people experience words that tear down--that take courage out; we need to be wives (people!) who use words to put courage in. That is our call ladies. To re-impart courage to our spouses!

I also want to note, the encouragement is not just a marital thing. It is very much an any and every relationship thing. Parents, friends, siblings, co-workers, neighbors, relatives, grocery store clerks, you name it. Let us aim to be know for our encouraging relationships. Our words that impart courage upon another. 



^^^Opinions, two-cents, questions and ramblings are welcome. And go above. Go ahead. Try it.

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