Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Be Right Back

 Due to some recent events, JM will be taking a short break. Everything's good. No one's dead :) 
Thanks, as always, for reading and writing and encouraging!


Saturday, October 27, 2012

Psalm 23:6 - (Day Twenty)

"Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life." (Psalm 23:6)

Ty and I prayed Psalm 23 over our marriage, knowing that because of the journey preceding five verses, verse six is a choice we were making. We would pursue goodness and mercy from God, towards each other and those around us. 

It is the cornerstone on which we build our marriage. And so far, it has served us well. 

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*Oh hello! New here? Til the end of October, I'm writing verses that have been pivotal in my life. Everyone has those they cling to in seasons of life. Do you? Share it with us on Facebook!

Friday, October 26, 2012

Psalm 23:4 - (Day Nineteen)

"Your rod and staff, they comfort me." (Psalm 23:4)

I don't know about you, but rods and staffs, those were tools of discipline in my home.

Ok well not exactly a rod, more like a wooden spoon but when you're on the tail end of it, it's pretty much the same thing. (Can I get a witness? Yup, that just happened.)

But in the phases of life, there are transitions. 

"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child." (1Cor13:11)

When I got in trouble, I knew there were consequences. I knew they sometimes came in the form of a wooden spoon. I knew that reasoning was not an option (with me) because I was stubborn. 

I remember one time, my brother and I were whining and fighting in the garage as my mother was attempting to talk to a neighbor. A couple times she asked us to stop. "It's not very becoming," she'd say.  

We didn't, of course. 

So she turned to me and said, with her stern face, "Go to your rooms. I will be there in a second."

Oh shoot. 

We ran as fast as we could into the house and talked through our elementary game plan.

"Go get Julissa. We'll lock ourselves in the bathrooms, and have her bring us pitchers of water so that we'll keep drinking and always have to pee. Then, Mom can't spank us. Because we're in the bathroom!"


"When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child.
When I became a (wo)man, I put childish ways behind me. 

Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known. And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love." (1 Corinthians 13:11-15)

The maturing process of a Christian is very similar to that of a child; no matter what age you are saved. 

In both realms, discipline is meant for protection.

As children, rods and staffs, they aren't comforting. They are painful, seemingly unnecessary and emit "consequence" to us. But they are done out of the love of our parents. 

When my Momma slapped my hand as I went for the stove, she knew I was going to get burned. When my Dad made me change my booty shorts before youth group, he knew they were wildly inappropriate for the occasion and my age. 

Parent's don't (or shouldn't) enjoy disciplining their children, but it's their responsibility from the Lord.

As adults, the discipline we received as children helped guide us along to maturity and wisdom. We can see now that the discipline for whining and fighting was to eliminate that habit from my life. Who wants to hang around an adult whiner or complainer?? 

As new believers, there are things we cannot know are right or wrong without the guidance of a Father, leading us, carrying us, nudging us and disciplining us along the way.  

As mature believers, have perspective and comfort in that training. It was a Father, raising up His children in maturity. 

I hate discipline. And I use to fight it. But God has been showing me more and more, how necessary it is for my life. It's only awful if I don't learn. It's beautiful if I do.

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*Oh hello! New here? Til the end of October, I'm writing verses that have been pivotal in my life. Everyone has those they cling to in seasons of life. Do you? Share it with us on Facebook!

Thursday, October 25, 2012

Psalm 23:3 (Day Eighteen)

I was a little high school freshman, my first year at Winter Camp, and our speaker was a Jamaican Mexican bald man who had more love in his heart than the world knew what to do with. (If you know Sabo Cortez, insert head nod and smile here.)

In the pinnacle of his evening message he leaned in, looked every single one of us in the eyes, and whispered, "Brothers and sisters, you were saved FROM something, TO something."

Wide eyed we leaned in as if he were giving away the secrets to life. 

So interesting. 

For the longest time, my limited view of Christianity was so I wouldn't go to hell. That Jesus loved me enough to save me from there. I was never okay with the "waiting for Jesus to come back" mentality. It didn't sit right with me. But I didn't know what else there was to do.

And then that night, the door was unlocked and swung wide open. I'm supposed to be DOING something. Not sitting. Not waiting. Moving, faster than ever. Pushing, with the force and stamina of the Gospel behind me. 

"He leads me in paths of righteousness, for His name's sake." (Psalm 23:3)

He led us into righteousness, for His namesake. Not ours. 

He led us FROM something (sin, shame, guilt) TO something (freedom, mission, purpose, life).

Are you stuck in the FROM of salvation? 
What will it take to move you FROM, TO? 

I have my Jam-exican friend's number, I can have him call you ;) 

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*Oh hello! New here? Til the end of October, I'm writing verses that have been pivotal in my life. Everyone has those they cling to in seasons of life. Do you? Share it with us on Facebook!

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Psalm 23:1-3 - (Day Seventeen)

Psalm 23 was one of those bible verses everyone memorized at Vacation Bible School. I can hear it, as if it was yesterday. 100 kids, all wearing some bright colored t-shirt, standing and reciting, the Lord is my Shepherd, I shall not want...

I am forever grateful for that basis of Biblical knowledge. 

But over time, the foundation gets jaded. Know what I mean? 

Over time, I have forgotten the preciousness of those words. The Lord God Almighty, He is my Shepherd. Everything He does, as a Shepherd, is thoughtful, purposeful, intentional and beneficial to my well-being. 

"The Lord is my Shepherd, I lack nothing. He makes me lie down in green pastures, He leads me beside quiet waters, He refreshes my soul." (Psalm 23:1-3a)

As a newly wed, I remember being so relieved that sometimes, God, as a good shepherd, makes us lie down in green pastures. Sometimes, when I'm running around like a crazy person, He takes that rod, swats my booty and firmly causes me to stop. 

You need rest, He says. There is a longer journey ahead. Drink, be refreshed and sleep. 

It's happened so often in my adult life, that I am learning to recognize the signals. 

I know that when my physical body is weak, for no obvious sickness or reason, it's swat and lay #1. 

I know that when my mind starts running like a rat race, completely out of control, that's swat and lay #2.

And I know when I am burnt out, physically, emotionally, spiritually, and mentally, to the point where talking to anyone is too much effort, I've missed or ignored the first 2 swats and this one is a little firmer. Swat and lay #3. 

I lack nothing with my God, because it is He that refreshes my soul by His firm and gentle shepherding. 

- - - - -
*Oh hello! New here? Til the end of October, I'm writing verses that have been pivotal in my life. Everyone has those they cling to in seasons of life. Do you? Share it with us on Facebook!

Monday, October 22, 2012

Psalm 13 - (Day Sixteen)

Reading through my old journals has always proven to be a humorously educating time. I read some and think, drama drama drama. Then others I think, poor girl. And still deep inside the drama and silliness, there are gem prayers of honesty, innocence, and zeal. 

I often read through the Psalms and relate a little too closely with the back and forth emotional roller coaster David is on. 

My favorite one thus far:

Long enough, God— you’ve ignored me long enough.
I’ve looked at the back of your head long enough. Long enough
I’ve carried this ton of trouble, lived with a stomach full of pain.
Long enough my arrogant enemies have looked down their noses at me.
Take a good look at me, God, my God; I want to look life in the eye,
So no enemy can get the best of me or laugh when I fall on my face.
 I’ve thrown myself headlong into your arms—I’m celebrating your rescue. I’m singing at the top of my lungs, I’m so full of answered prayers. (Psalm 13)

How often do we start praying with frustration and feelings of doubt, abandonment and discouragement, only to realize through communicating with God that He hasn't left. He is right here and speaking to us ever so clearly. 

Honestly, it's one of my favorite parts of being a child of God. Because the wishy-washyness of our hearts becomes more and more solidified only in relationship with Him. It's an amazing transformation to be a part of. 

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**If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook.

Saturday, October 20, 2012

Ephesians 5:15-17 - (Day Fifteen)

About a month ago, I became aware of a blessing I knew the Lord was going to explode. In a good way. Every year, since 2009, myself and a team of about 15 girls and women put on a conference for middle school and high school girls and their moms. 

We call it, the Becoming Girls Conference

Our first year, we planned almost the entire conference in my upstairs bedroom. Our first year was a chaotic year I affectionately called, "The Disaster of 2009." Now, it probably wasn't as bad as it felt, but we had no idea what we were doing. 

Our second and third years were spent fine tuning the infrastructure, the program and the vision of our conference. I cannot tell you how amazed I am at the women that have surrounded and embraced Becoming. We have the most qualified and gracious women I could have ever asked for. 

This year, year four, we planned our conference over a September weekend in an estate in Southern California, with 15 women and girls (ages 13-50+) and we are bravely calling it our "Next Level Year." 

We settled on the theme: Becoming Brave, because we feel for the leadership and the attendees, this is a year to stand up and change our world. 

You see, what I did not know in October 2009, was our conference, it wasn't just for us. Becoming Girls Conferences is part of a much bigger agenda that our God is distributing across the globe. 

There is a global awakening of women who are standing, not fighting, standing up and demanding respect, presence, and a voice by their very conduct. This isn't a rerun of the feminist movement. 

Women are shifting their cultures by example and with the intention of bettering all of mankind. 

My 15 leaders have changed my life, maybe in ways they won't ever really know. They showed me what it looks like to live out Ephesians 5 with zeal, passion, and grace. 

Be very careful, then, how you live—not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is. (Ephesians 5:15-17)

We don't have time to care what our opposers think of our actions. We don't have time to dwell on popularity contests. There is a world of people that are longing for something more. And we have that answer. 

Together, we are making the most of every opportunity.

Together, we are, Becoming Brave

- - - - -
*For my Mom, Sam, Madi, Bailey, Jodie, Joanna, Marcy, Erica, Christina, Carly, Bryckley, Tangee, Brittany, Chelsie, and Monica. 

**If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

Thursday, October 18, 2012

Jeremiah 33:3 - (Day Fourteen)

"Call to me and I will answer you and tell you great and unsearchable things you do not know." (Jeremiah 33:3)

Journal Entry from November 30, 2011--
God, I pray for your will to be done above all in this move to Los Angeles. Above all! We only want what You desire for us in life. However, you do ask us to come boldly before You, so that's what I'm going to do. I am "calling to [You] so that [You] will answer [me] and tell [me] great and unsearchable things [I] do not know." Things that You are going to do. Mighty things. 
Here is what I am asking. 
-Our Car: We want to go to Santa Monica once a month to visit our team but our truck will cost us too much money with gas. Will you provide a way there? Whether by $$ or carpool or other means? 
-Timing: Show us when You want us to move. You'll make it clear right? We want to go now, but a lot of things have yet to fall into place. We are waiting on You. 
-Leader's Blessing: God we can't leave without the blessings of our bosses, our families and our mentors. Please pave that way.  
-Our Home: We need a place to live for an affordable $$. It seems impossible to double our rent on less salary, but we know that if You called us, You will provide. Please place us in a home that can serve many. A home that will be welcoming to friends and strangers alike. Show me how to care for and manage a household so that all feel served.
-Opportunities: We are for connection and ministry opportunities even now. Connect us so that we won't flounder when we move. Prepare us through people now, so that then it will be fruitful. 
You are good. And I love the way You love us. -Amen
In the last 12 months, every single request has been fulfilled. Every. Single. One. I wish I could say I trusted God fully in the moments of questioning but despite my faithlessness, He is still faithful. (Halle-freakin-luia!)

Our car was replaced with a gas efficient car that functioned perfectly for what we need.

Timing was spot on, as the school year ended, families were settled, jobs came to a close and apartment prices were low(er).

Leadership blessed and sent us out, far quicker and more freely than we had ever anticipated. 

We found an apartment in the middle of the city, down music row, for a price we didn't know we could afford. It is bigger than we imagined and even the details of crown moulding made me cry. 

Opportunities have been innumerable. From people we've partnered with, random friendship that have evolved, churches that have taken us under their wings, and a homeless population that have become our weekly dinner dates. 

Our God is more than good and like Jeremiah 33:3, He will show us great and mighty things. Ask Him. Boldly ask Him, right now, for whatever's on your heart. He may or may not give it, but know that His answer will show you great and mighty things.

I cannot imagine what lies ahead for all of us. 

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**If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

1 John 4:7-8 - (Day Thirteen)

Love, in the life of a Christian, is not optional. In fact, not only is it not optional, it is a revealing factor of salvation. Amazing and scary all at the same time. 

Love, is not optional for me. Yet so many times it is. Like, I get to choose whether I love someone or not. Does that make sense? 

I was abused as a child, by my biological father. I was very angry as a child, mostly at him and his family. I stopped seeing him in visitations when I was seven because all I could see when I looked at him was a liar, an abuser, and a man. I felt nothing for him. 

Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. (1 John 4:7-8)

In the Summer of 2000, in the mountains of California, as a 12 year old I read this verse and had my first honest conversation with God. 

Are you kidding me? I asked. Does that mean I have to love him too? 

No reply.

Because if it does, I'm not sure how we're going to work this out. Didn't you see what happened? Don't you see how altered my life is because of him?

"Yes. Yes I see. And I see how your altered life is going to change the course of many. Many who would have become statistics. Many who would have felt so terribly alone without your story. I see."

I'm not saying as a 12 year old I comprehended fully what God was calling me to, but I did realize it was so much bigger than me. 

Over the years, this love we are taught to have because of salvation has become more and more natural. But it had to start somewhere. God began the ripple effect of life-changing love when He predestined His Son to pay for the sin of all mankind. That stuns me. 

He saw the evil in us and it grieved Him. So He loved. Sacrificially and completely. 

I want to do that. 

- - - - -
*This post is for Kayla
**If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

Psalm 55:22 - (Day Twelve)

It was 3:30 in the afternoon. I was sitting outside the choir room, reading over my Bible homework. The assignment was on the Psalms and as I flipped to the designated passage (that I cannot recall now), Psalm 55:22 caught my eye. Specifically the last part. 

Cast your burden on the Lordand He will sustain you; He will never permit the righteous to be moved. (Psalm 55:22)

What do you mean You "will never permit the righteous to be moved"? I asked. Does that mean like, physically moved? Or emotionally? Because if that's the case, I'm either not righteous or not understanding what You're saying. 

The answer, was both. 

"You are not righteous my child, He said, reminding me of Romans 1. "On your own. You and I are separated by a chasm of debt. Debt that grieved me so greatly, I took it upon myself to pay it. With my Son. He died for you and the world around you. But you knew that already didn't you?"

Yes, my heart whispered.

"Did you also know," He said as He continued speaking to my heart, "Jesus' death wasn't the end? He could have stayed in the grave and still paid for the sin of man. But, He didn't. I raised Him. I raised Him as the catalyst for freedom and the end of death. I revived Him so that My people would know, in Us, there is a confidence, a redemption and a life to be lived abundantly. Without chains, without fear or worry. In Us, there is a life to be lived, unmoved."

I want that, I begged. 

"Then seek Me. Cast your burdens on Me. I will take them and use those stones to build a foundation of faith beneath you. One that cannot be moved." 

It is easy for me to assume every person reading this blog is a Christian or if they're not, they at least know what they're getting when they come here. 

But I can't do that today. I think I need to be a little bolder than I've been and ask you, where are you with God today? 

There is no "right" answer, in this context at least. It could be, I have no idea  or that relationship is non-existent. But if there's any ounce of questioning in you, anything that desires to know Him or about Him further, will you email me? I want to talk with you. Not at you. With you. 

There is a God, He loves you very much, and will build in you a foundation of faith that cannot be moved. I promise. 

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*If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

Monday, October 15, 2012

Luke 10:27 - (Day Eleven)

Over the last two years I've noticed my method or natural inclination towards interpreting Scripture changing a bit. There was a season where I would read and passage and think to myself, "Okay, so what is this verse saying for me?"

Not necessarily a wrong way of thinking, but I realized I was viewing Scripture as a means to end my confusion or sorrow or questioning rather than a means to know God more. 

This weekend, we visited West View Church and Pastor Jesse read,

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength and with all your mind." (Luke 10:27)

I love that verse, I thought to myself. But, to be honest, sometimes I don't have any strength or heart left to love God. Thank goodness I didn't say that out loud...

But it's true. For me at least. 

Sometimes there is only 10% of my 100% love tank left. And for the longest time I assumed that God didn't want that 10%. He wanted 100%. Isn't that what they teach us in church? God wants it all? Everything? 

But what if I don't have everything to give? Is that okay? 

The answer is, yes. 

God isn't asking for 100% of what we don't have it give. 

If we only have 10% left, He wants 100% of that 10%. 

Love the Lord your God, with all your heart, your soul, your strength and your mind. However much that might be. 

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*If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

Friday, October 12, 2012

Proverbs 3:5-8 - (Day Ten)

Singing is my life. There was a time when I had no talent and I still sang. Any ounce of talent that may or may not come out of these lungs is attributed to the prayer of a desperate mother. As she walked by my room one day, she saw a 4 year old singing at the top of her lungs, totally out of tune. In that moment, she said a silent prayer to God that went something like, "Dear Lord, please give her a voice because she's probably going to sing whether she has one or not." 

I threw myself into music from the ages of 9-18. From the church choir to the weekend band to a girls group where we had more fun dressing up for competitions than we did in the actual competition. 

Music, or more specifically singing, was my life. 

Then, after a weird chain of events, I left California after high school graduation for a school in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It wasn't my first choice. I applied for only one school, because I had the grades and scholarships (I hoped) would get me in and they had the program I wanted. 

June came and went. Then July. I was starting to get nervous. I at least wanted a rejection letter so I could move on with my life. (Insert dramatic face here.) I called the Admissions and the woman said my application was never processed. She put me on hold, checked her stack and came back with an apology in her tone. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm not sure how this happened but your application must have gotten missed somehow. It's still sealed on my desk."

Oh snap. 

She then proceeded to tell me about a rush process and I kindly told her it wasn't her fault. God had clearly closed the door on my college dreams.

I was frustrated. Confused and immaturely offended. At God. 

Didn't He realize if I went to that school, how much I would learn and help people?! 

Then, as my mother always sweetly did, she wrote this verse on a 3X5 card and posted it on my bedroom mirror:

Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes ; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8)

Fast forward two months, I flew to Michigan to start my Freshman year at Grace Bible College. I knew it was a small school and that my dad attended there his first two years of college. But when I arrived, there were 150 students enrolled and no Fall music program.

I was so fearful God was going to take my voice away. That maybe He was showing me something else to do or someone else to be. 

I panicked. And by "panicked" I mean I joined the Soccer team. Long story. Let's move on. 

After a game (okay we'll move on after this story), I had just showered off the shame of my horrible soccer playing skills and like any girl who's desperate for someone to listen, I called my Mom. 

We talked for hours and she reminded me, once again, of that Proverbs. "God knows your heart baby," she encouraged. "He knows you're a songbird. Trust Him." 

Two weeks later music auditions were announced. For the next two (amazing) years, it felt like I never stopped singing. 

As Christians, we often forget that the God we've entrusted our lives to, He's trustworthy. He knows what He's doing. 

I cannot count the times I've seen only the "disaster" or "disappointment" standing right in front of me, only to later realize that disastrous disappointment was but a small brush stroke in the painting of my life. 

And our lives, as important as mine is to me and yours is to you, are but brush strokes in the painting of humanity.  

And humanity, as important as it is to us and to God, is but a brush stroke in the painting of our God, His nature, His character, and His beauty. 

Isn't that just marvelous? 

So trust not your own understanding but acknowledge Him, His plan in all you do. And I'll do the same. 

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*If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Philippians 2:1-16 - (Day Nine)

"Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. 

Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

In your relationships with one another, have the same mindset as Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
    did not consider equality with God something to be used to his own advantage;
 rather, he made himself nothing
    by taking the very nature of a servant,
    being made in human likeness.
 And being found in appearance as a man,
    he humbled himself
    by becoming obedient to death
        even death on a cross!
 Therefore God exalted him to the highest place
    and gave him the name that is above every name,
 that at the name of Jesus every knee should bow,
    in heaven and on earth and under the earth,
 and every tongue acknowledge that Jesus Christ is Lord,
    to the glory of God the Father.

Therefore, my dear friends, as you have always obeyed—not only in my presence, but now much more in my absence—continue to work out your salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you to will and to act in order to fulfill his good purpose.

Do everything without grumbling or arguing, so that you may become blameless and pure, children of God without fault in a warped and crooked generation. Then you will shine among them like stars in the sky as you hold firmly to the word of life." (Philippians 2:1-16)

Bam. I am attempting to live through this passage right now. Literally. Right now. Humility and love work most effectively together. Humility without love is meant for selfish gain. Love without humility, well, that can't really exist. I think. Like I said, I'm still trying to figure this one out. 

How about you? How does this verse hit home for you? 

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*If you're new here, hello! For the month of October I'm sharing 31 verses that are writing my life story. I'd love to hear yours~ 

Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Job 13:15 - (Day Eight)

Though he slay me, yet will I hope in Him. (Job 13:15a)

I've tried to live my life as though I were an open book. I believe in the power of brokenness, especially when it comes to people. I believe broken people heal when sharing their brokenness and I believe broken people heal when they hear of someone else's brokenness. 

But brokenness, in and of itself, is not the power. Relationship is. 

Relationship is cultivated on commonalities and commonalities are discovered by engaging in relationship. It's a beautiful cycle necessary for humanity. 

However, as I paint this idealistic picture for us, I must acknowledge that sometimes it's just plain awful. 

As Ty and I were struggling through the first part of our "infertility" season, some good friends of ours came over to tell us they were pregnant. My heart exploded with joy for them! There, by the grace of God alone, were no feelings of jealousy or bitterness. Just pure joy!

Then, within weeks, she lost the baby. 

Both devastated, she came over, mostly to cry. I held her and we both sobbed, not knowing what exactly God was doing. We prayed and I read her excerpts from my journal and the Bible. As horrible as it sounds, our relationship was fused together that day. 

We shared something, something awful, but we both knew we weren't alone anymore. 

That day, I looked her straight in the eyes and said, "Chris, I love that I'm here for you and that God has prepared me for this moment, but I have to be honest with you. All my life, I have held my stories out with open hands for anyone and everyone to read that they might see God through it. But this one is different for me. If God held out His hands to me, one holding you and your grief and the other holding a beautiful baby, and asked me to choose one," I paused, trying to catch my sobbing breath. "I would choose the baby.

I was so humiliated but I wanted her to know I wasn't the hero of my own story. I was still broken.

She looked at me, eyes full of tears and said, "I know. It's okay." 

You see friends, relationship isn't about what you can get or what you can give to another person. It's about living life with other human beings. There is no catch. 

A couple months later, Tyson wrote the Job Song, penning perfectly mine and Christina's prayers to God through our seasons.

"Though You slay me, I will trust in You
For You my God are my portion
Though You slay me, You will see me through,
Before You God I will come undone."

We will hope. Forever and ever no matter what. 

- - - - -
The end of the story? After 2 miscarriages, Christina and Ishmael are welcoming a baby girl in March 2013! But that's another blog for another time ;) 

*To hear the Job Song, click here.

**If you're just joining us, welcome! For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that have had pivotal impact on my life. 

Tuesday, October 9, 2012

Romans 8:28-29 - (Day Seven)

Think back to high school. Remember that awful moment when you realize your life is playing out nothing like the way you imagined.

Now think about your Senior year. Do you remember that awkward moment when everyone asked, so what are you going to be going to school for?

Now snap back to now. Though your life is nothing like what you'd imagined as a puberty stricken, starry eyed adolescent, is it still amazing? 

Mine too. 

For for years of high school my best friend and I would recite this verse to each other any time we could:

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. For those God foreknew he also predestined to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brothers and sisters. (Romans 8:28-29)

It was kind of our way of saying, "not sure how to deal with what you're experiencing, but I know God is working and I love you."

This verse and that girl helped me remember that as a daughter of God, He was raising me to be someone of significance. He was setting me apart for something specific. 

I still don't know what exactly that is, but as my fellow sisters (and brothers) in Christ, I want to encourage you like my bff encouraged me: 

Don't give up. 
Run hard after God, trusting that He is fashioning you into the likeness of Jesus. Then look back every once in a while and be pleasantly surprised at how much you've grown and matured. 

God is good and He loves you. 
^^^Opinions, two-cents, questions and ramblings are welcome. And go above. Go ahead. Try it.

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