Monday, November 19, 2012

We're Pregnant: Baby Mo is on the Way!

So, I can finally un-secret my Baby Pinterest Board.
Man Version of this Story:

We're pregnant. 

Woman Version of this Story:

On October 26, 2011 I wrote, 

Today makes 1 year of us trying for Baby Mo #1. And my period has come again... 2 weeks early. I am broken today. And a little lot angry at God. I know He loves me, but I feel so forgotten. A hopefully beneficial thing in all this is that ever since I told our story on the blog, so many women have come out of the wood-works with their own stories of heartache. I was so scared that if I told my world, it would make it all more real. I don't want it to be real. But, God is good. So I'll obey. Because I know He loves me. And He can take this silly girl's anger. --

The last year has been a whirlwind of awkward conversations, ugly cries, jaw-dropping stories from women I would have never guessed struggled with fertility, and little graces of hope. 

Exactly one year later (totally unplanned), October 26, 2012, I opened my journal and scribbled these words, 

I am 2 weeks late. Yet this time around, I have a greater peace. I have not won this battle, but I know, I know with all my heart God's way will outshine my way. Three weeks ago I gave up babies again. This time, with a promise. I told God that I was going to go full speed ahead in life. Between this church plant and the girls conference, heaven knows I can keep myself more than busy. I promised I would move forward if He would promise to give me a warning sign when He was going to allow us to become pregnant. That's all I wanted. I wanted time to slow down. --

Unbeknownst to either of us, a sweet (new) friend gave me that warning. She posted Isaiah 49:15-16 on my Facebook and said she couldn't stop thinking about me when she read it. 

It says, 

"Can a woman forget her nursing child, that she should have no compassion on the son of her womb? Even these may forget, yet I will not forget you." (Isaiah 49:15-16)

I was afraid to read into it.
I couldn't be.
I JUST said I was going to move full speed ahead. 
Like three weeks ago.
So I wrote it down and moved on. 

Two days later, I was guest worship leading at a new church and was horribly nervous. So nervous, in fact, I threw up in the women's bathroom. That was strange. I don't think I've done that since 6th grade.

That afternoon I slept. For four hours. That's strange. I never nap. 

Ty left for a concert with some friends and I sat on the couch, sicker than a dog, clutching my stomach. There's no way. But I should take a test just in case. But there's no way. Seriously. 

I turned on the shower, dug out that Clear Blue box I'd been saving for a time such as this, and peed on that stupid little stick. All the while, coaching myself through the cyclically familiar grief I was about to relive. 

It's gonna be negative. It's so gonna be neg---

I saw it. It was clear as the sky is blue. That little sucker had a double line.

Without notice, my eyes flooded and my heart began pouring out praise and thanks to my God. I bawled, all alone, in my West Hollywood apartment, because once again, though He didn't have to, He gave me my heart's desire.

That night He reminded me of this: 

Julianna, I haven't changed. I didn't become more good. This isn't proof of my faithfulness, because you and I both know I was faithful before you even took that test. This is proof of my blessings. I. See. You. I. Will. Never. Forget. You. 

No, I replied. No You won't.
- - - - -

Many of you have walked this journey with us and want to say, from every fiber in our beings, thank you. You have cried with us, prayed over us and with us, emailed us words of immense encouragement, fed us dinners and caffeinated us with Starbucks, and we are forever grateful for each of you. 

This baby isn't just for us. He (yes we think it's a boy) is meant for so much more than to be a Morlet child. 

He is meant to show the world just who God is. He will have his own purpose, his own story and his own journey of faith. But in the meantime, we will share this gift with you. ~

Other Details: 
9 Weeks along / Due end of June-ish / Feeling amazingly nauseas / Craving cucumbers / Popping a tiny bit, but it's probably mostly gas. 
^^^Opinions, two-cents, questions and ramblings are welcome. And go above. Go ahead. Try it.

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