Monday, December 13, 2010

Change: It's Good.

Today I am hopeful. 

There have been alot of changes in the last couple months and many many more to come in the next. There will be some painful changes and there will be some overwhelmingly joyous changes. They're all changes nonetheless. Winston Churchill said:
There is nothing wrong with change, if it is in the right direction.

And I agree. But dear Mr. Churchill, how do you really know if you are going in the right direction or not? I mean, there is obvious knowledge of right and wrong. I think we can all attest to knowing that much. But direction is way different than right and wrong...right? 

This week I had to come to a weirdly hard decision. I have been teaching vocal classes @ a music school here in town for about a year and a half. I never thought I'd be teaching music on a professional level but a friend of a friend got my number and asked me to step in when their prior teacher was moving out of state. Of course! I said and started right away. 

Now, I am the teacher who is leaving. Not literally. I wish it was that simple. But mentally I can no longer juggle 4 jobs, a husband, a church-plant and a household. So I'm having to let some go while being creative with new income opportunities.

It's change. It's weird. Mostly scary.

But it's good. I know it is. I can't see entirely where it is all going but I have this feeling that God is clearing things out of my life so that the new seeds that have been planted can bloom. The seeds of justice and worship. The seeds of creativity and design. The seeds of music and magic. [Not sure what that means but it sounded good.] The seeds of marriage and love. All these new seeds that are blooming faster than I can care for. 

I have never been good about letting go, but it seems that lately I have been forced to at more frequent rate. But today I am hopeful. My mind is freaking out, but my heart is at peace. Not because of stability, nor answers, nor assurance. I'm at peace because God promises me that no matter what happens, He has a plan. And not in a cheesy memory verse way. Like, He really does have a plan. A plan that is happening right now, not one that will happen. It is happening. 

So Mr. Churchill, I think you are right. I am trusting in the Lord with all my heart and leaning not on my own ideas, thoughts, or understandings, but am acknowledging Him in everything I do, knowing that He will direct my ways. 

He will direct my ways. That's the right direction.


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