As I was crawling out of bed on my 23rd birthday I
hit my shin on the metal bunk bed in my college dorm and I stumbled over to the
mirror to stared at my face as I forced a smile full of braces. I remember fighting back tears hating the
fact that I was nowhere I thought I “should” be at 23 years old. I was still in
college without a husband, let alone a boyfriend, a mouth full of braces, and
sleeping in a bunk bed.
Let’s just say that wasn’t my favorite birthday that I
have ever had.
For as long as I can remember I have been a comparer. If it
wasn’t my peers, it was my sisters. “I’m not as smart as Julie is.” “I’m not as
tall or pretty as Jamie and Julie are.” I remember in my mid-twenties I would
literally get sweaty and sick to my stomach before I would go visit with my
childhood friends. I would think as I was driving to meet them, “They have it
together. They have their own homes, husbands, jobs, and money.” I would try on
20 different outfits and then take my college self out to coffee with them. I am
sure that they were not 1/10 as critical of me as I was of myself,
but I got lost in the comparison game of how life “should” look for someone in their
20’s.
Now that I am out of my 20’s I can honestly say that time
was the worst and hardest decade of my life and it was all because of the
unnecessary pressure that I put on myself to be and look a certain way.
I wish that someone would have sat down with
me and told me that there was no such thing as normal and that I was free to be
who I wanted to be and pursue what I wanted to pursue because my life was my
own. I had amazing people in my life so maybe someone did tell me that but I
was so consumed with comparing that I couldn’t hear them. Looking back now I
see how much I missed out on because I was so concerned with finding a husband,
being pretty, funny, and cool.
God has made us all unique with our own passions, hopes, and
dreams. The journey I am on not does not look like what I thought it would or
what I hoped it would growing up and even into my 20’s. In saying that, I would
not have it any other way. I love looking back now and seeing the timing of it
all and God’s hand all over my life.
If I had about 25 pages to write I could
tell you down to the specifics of God’s amazing timing and unique design with my
life up until now, and that would just be the stuff that I knew of, not the
stuff that I may never know.
I couldn't be more honest in telling you I am beyond thankful that I didn’t get kids when I wanted them, a husband when I wanted him, college
when I wanted it, or a career when I wanted it.
The life that I lead now is beyond anything I could have asked for or
imagined. I’ll be celebrating 6 years being married to my best friend this
year, we are in the process of adopting children, and I started an organization working with teens that I am so passionate about.
Cherish these days young friends.
Make the season that you are in right
now the best season of your life. You will never get it back. God is doing
something totally different in you than the person next to you. The biggest
disservice that you can do to yourself is compare and wish that you were
someone or somewhere that you aren’t. Embrace today!
-Elizabeth
