Lately I've been pondering alot about my life.
What I'm doing. What it's worth. And if what I'm doing now will change.
I hate change.
Being married to a man with {5} years more wisdom and life experience than me, I sometimes forget that I'm still just {22}.
I'm still young and overflowing with immaturity.
Even in our recent arguments we've had to stop and look @ each other with a look of understanding. That sometimes we're on different pages and that is ok.
I haven't figured this life out yet.
He hasn't either but he's definitely more along than I am. He's already been through the fears and worries of the {22} year old stage.
The unsettling question of "What exactly am I doing with my life?"
I'm going to school.
Working {3} part time jobs. All of them I love.
But then add in being a wife and keeping a house clean. That's a part-time job all on its own. And I love that one too.
I'm tired more hours of the day than I'm not. I use to think it was because I wasn't getting enough sleep. Like I was working too many hours of the 24.
However, last night I had an epiphany~
My body isn't tired :: My mind is tired.
I am trading too many hats for one day.
I'm feeling the pull between passion and necessities.
So starting Sunday night I will be taking a 7 days hiatus. {1} to pray for hours, {2} to read everything I've started, {1} to write the songs that are buried in my heart, {1} to plug away at my book that is in stale mate right now, {1} to do something way out of my comfort zone and {1} to journal the whole experience.
I'm not exactly sure where I'm gonna go or how I'm gonna do this. Maybe I will go to the beach one day and just sit. Maybe the creek another. Maybe a busy busy restaurant or a cafe. Or maybe I'll just drive and drive and drive.
All I know is that I want so bad for God to speak and I haven't been silent enough to listen.
I'm pretty excited.
Can't wait to tell you guys about it.
Love,
