"Dear God, I'm not afraid of making the wrong choice."
That's a lie. I'm deathly afraid of wrong choices. However, if there's one thing I've learned in 25 years, it's that not all situations have a "right" and "wrong." Some sit right in that grey area that I've fondly labeled, "good, better, best." So I guess that first sentence should read, I'm afraid of settling for the good and not the best.
I've been there before, this teetering place of questions and crossroads. I've been here before, where it feels like I'm walking off a cliff into uncharted waters. Should I fall or jump? Should I veer left or right?
I know You see me and my flailing mind grasping for some kind of road map or at least an instruction manual.
Sometimes I feel as though it'd be safer to wait for you to force my movement. But then I think back at the times that have mirrored this one and remember that nothing You've called me to in this life has ever been considered "safe" or "secure." And for now, I'm okay with that.
Just tell me which one to choose. Show me which way to go.
Which will bring You most glory? I choose that one.
Which will put me in the best possible state of being to relate with other people? I choose that one.
Which will fashion me to be more like the woman You have called me to be? I choose that one.
Whatever it is, no matter the cost, I choose that one.
