The Beginning of Forever: I'm Engaged!!

I'm marrying a  hopeless romantic.

This proposal day (yes it was a whole day) is definitely one for the history books. Here’s how it went:

It was my birthday (February 21) and he had a whole day planned and then later that night we were having a party at my house. So at 8:30 AM Tyson picked me up in his freshly waxed truck and we went to the bank to open our savings account. (He had also made me a mix-CD that he said was to be the soundtrack for our day.) We needed to get it done and that was the only day we could do it, or so I thought. From there, he had scheduled an appointment at Bella Nail Salon for me to get a pedicure. Then we drove down to San Diego.

The whole car ride I swore we were going to the zoo. Of course he would not give me any hints but he had that crooked sneaky smirk, that confirmed my hunch. When we arrived at our location I was sorely mistaken, but it was a good mistaken because we were going KAYAKING! I love kayaking and had always wanted him to go with me, but knew he never would because he hates the ocean. Boy was I surprised.

After kayaking we drove back to Temecula and he took me to the mall to buy me a dress for the party. A couple try-ons later we landed on the perfect red dress and were off to the Christian bookstore. He gave me a gift certificate and told me to choose whatever book, devotional I wanted. I looked around and he looked around and when we met in the middle we both saw the perfect book: The Brides Handbook. It has a daily devotional in it along with a plethora of wedding planning tips…ironic.

From there we rushed home to change and pretty ourselves up before the second to last stop. Callaway Winery. It was the perfect dinner and the most romantic atmosphere. And then I started getting nervous. We had one more stop before the party and when we turned left out of the winery I knew where we were going. On our first date we found this hill by my house, we turned the radio to loud, and danced for hours. That’s where we were going, our dancing hill.

We turned onto the street, hand in hand, with Chris Tomlin’s version of “All the Way My Savior Leads Me” playing in the background, and the tears started coming. At that moment I knew what was happening. When we got to the top of the hill there laid a blanket, candles, and his guitar. (My brother had gone earlier to set it all up.) Then it was time. For each place we had gone that day, he gave me an envelope with what they represented in our relationship.

1. The Bank- (Ephesians 5:25) The investment of my time, my money, and my energies will always go first to serving you my bride.

2. The Bookstore- (Ephesians 5:26) My utmost priority will always be guarding your integrity and purity just as Christ did for the church, we will always have a devotional life.

3. The Mall- (Ephesians 5:27) I will work hard to make sure you always have what you need.

4. The Nail Salon- (Ephesians 5:28) I will always cherish your body and am so thankful for how beautiful you are.

5. The Picnic Lunch- (Ephesians 5:29) I will work hard to always make sure you have food to eat!!

6. The Kayaking- (Ephesians 5:31) We will grow together as one as we face our joys, challenges, and our FEARS!

7. The Winery- (Ephesians 5:32) As we are together, I will work to make sure that our relationship always has the fragrance of Christ.

and the last one said

8. The Song.

(Click to listen: May I Have This Dance)

I looked up, tears streaming from my eyes, and he sang me a song that he had written for this moment, in which the last line said, “Will you be my wife?” AH! Then he pulled the ring from the back of his guitar, got down on one knee, said an amazing speech, and I said YES! Then…to top it all off, he informed me that the birthday party we were going to was not a birthday party…it was an engagement party! And everyone was in on it! 

So the perfect day turned into the perfect night as we celebrated with friends and family, and even my sister joined us via cell phone and video chat. Praise the Lord for technology. At one point all 60 of us gathered in our upstairs living room for what felt like a great big family meeting. My dad gave a devotional and welcomed Ty to the family and one of our pastors prayed over us. It is the most peaceful feeling to have the people you love surround you and support this new phase of your life. Because there is comfort knowing that when things get tough, unexpected trials come or troubles barge in, or when exciting things happen and memories are made, our whole family will be there…no matter what.

So thank you dear family.

Thank you dear friends.

And thank you dear Tyson, the love of my life.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy as we embark on this new adventure together.

Basking in Grace

This season is definitely a season of crazy learning for me. And by crazy learning I mean non-stop learning. It seems a though everyday there is something new to accomplish, a new task to conquer, a new problem to overcome. And sometimes it gets tiring. Not just emotionally, but physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was driving and praying a couple days ago, that God would give me some sort of relief from myself. Relief from thinking about and analyzing every single thing that comes my way. My little sister use to say, “Sissy, my brain just doesn’t stop.” I feel you sister, I feel you.

But then I heard one of the pastors on the radio read a verse from Colossians 1 that spoke about the mystery of the gospel and how Christ in us is the hope of glory. And even now as I type, I cannot express to you the reality that hit me by that little phrase. I don’t even think that was the main point of his message but it really moved me. CHRIST is our HOPE in GLORY! Meaning that there is hope and there is victory because Jesus conquered all in His death and resurrection. Then the next day Tyson and I were doing our devotions and we read from Galatians 2:20 which says,

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me: and that life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith which is in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me.”

He pointed out the underlinings in this verse and spoke further truth into my heart. That all I see now is a girl who is filled and driven by emotion, a girl who cannot stop analyzing every worry and fear in her life, a girl who cannot seem to live every moment of every day in the grace of Jesus. Though this may be all I see now, I must must must have confidence in knowing that my Savior is living in me! He is doing His work through me, not because of me, but because of Him and His amazing grace.

And in this, I…simply…rest.

I need to “live in faith”.

With faith comes rest, and with trust comes relief.

Do you need relief?

~JH

Surely Goodness and Mercy

So the day after I wrote the previous blog, I went to Starbucks, ordered a venti iced passion tea (unsweetened of course), and sat down in the small cozy corner couch with my journal, pen, and bible in hand. I was so ready. All day I had been waiting and praying and thinking about the last couple months of my life and reflecting on the faithfulness God has shown me. But before I get into that I wanted to share with you a scripture that spoke volumes to me over the last 5 months and gave me hope for my future as a child of God. (And I’m just warning you now: this will most definitely be a long one.) It is Psalm 81:8-16 and it says,

Hear, O my people, while I admonish you! O Israel, if you would but listen to me!
There shall be no strange god among you; you shall not bow down to a foreign god.
I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me.
So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels.
Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!
I would soon subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes.
Those who hate the LORD would cringe toward him, and their fate would last forever.
But he would feed you with the finest of the wheat, and with honey from the rock
I would satisfy you.”

Now there is so much packed into this passage, but from it came three priceless lessons.

First, there is the idea of false gods replacing the one true God in the hearts of His people. How easy it is for things, people, circumstances to come between our relationship with God? So easy! Life gets busy sometimes and I definitely allow my priorities to become jumbled. So lesson #1, I need to guard my time with the Lord. I need to actively make it a priority to be with Him, to know Him and to seek His will.

Secondly, God is telling His people that He promises to take care of them if they come to Him in all things. “Walk in my ways!” Contrary to some beliefs, God is not our enemy. If He was our enemy, He would have pushed the smite button on us all already. What hateful, harmful, and hurtful God sends His one and only Son to be sacrificed for people who had no desire to know Him? That is crazy! Only a God that unconditionally loves His people would do that. So why would I ever, ever, ever decide to contradict what I know He has called me to do. Lesson #2, trusting God is the most challenging “no-brainer” principle.

Thirdly, there are two promises in this passage: “Open your mouth and I will fill it” and “I would satisfy you”. God is not holding back the blessings that outflow from His character. I just sometimes choose not to receive them, because of pride or self-centeredness. Lesson #3, God always keeps His promises, to those who walk in in His ways! Always, always, always.

Side Note: After I had written this down in my journal I re-read it (as I do with alot of my entries) and as I was
reading, this adorable little lady across from me said, “Wow, that’s a smile worth asking about.” So I shared
with her what I am sharing with you and she expressed to me that she had been a Christian most of her life
and was still having to relearn these lessons everyday. It’s a life long process!

So these were the lessons learned, but who cares? What are the practical implications of them? When did these truths get put to the test? I’ll tell you when. When God confirmed my heart for worship, took away my money for the school I was currently enrolled in, and gave me a man who loves Him so deeply and has the same heart, the same mind, and the same calling in life as me; all in His perfect timing. Tyson has been the biggest joy and love in my life because he is to me what the end of that passage is speaking of: “the finest of wheat and the honey of the rock”. For me, He is the promise of God that ties it all together, because together we are fulfilling the individual callings God placed on our lives. God knew from the beginning and He brought us, our lives, together to glorify Him. Not by power, not by might, not by reason, nor by convenience, but by His Spirit. And for that I am in overwhelmingly in awe and forever grateful.

I knew God had called me to worship (leading and development), but I did not know where. I knew it was Him who provided money for school and was fully capable of taking it away, I just did not know when. And I knew He was the one who brought Tyson to me, I just did not know why. But now I do. I am seeing how it is all coming into play. I am seeing how the music of the orchestra is playing into this majestic symphony. So there is my heart, in its simplest form. And it our desire that our music will not be written in vain but that it will exemplify all of this. That we would not just talk about the Lord, but live life so that others do not need to hear our words. I will end with this well-known passage of Scripture as it brings everything into perspective of this bigger picture.

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

With faith, hope, and love,

~Julianna

Oh My, Oh My

So lately I have found myself having so many things to say, but no time to actually sit down and write them out. But I am dedicating a good portion of my day tomorrow, (after devotions, work, and lessons) to sit and be still. To journal everything that God has been teaching me these last couple of weeks, and let me tell you, it is a lot!

God has a funny way of teaching me. He does not just teach me something once and then let it go. No, He places hints or remnants of that lesson all over every area of my life! It’s as if I cannot escape from it. But despite the frustration, it is rather humorous. God knows that I am not a one time learner, nor do things take root in my mind and heart very easily. So He lovingly reminds me of it all day, everyday, in every way, every conversation, every song, every verse. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at how He knows me so uniquely that the lessons He teaches are specified to my learning style. Some people, like my sister, only have to learn a lesson once. Once they hear it, it goes in, is pondered, and acted upon. Me, not so much.

So tomorrow I will be writing. I will continue to learn. I will continue to listen. And I will continue to allow the lessons God is trying to teach me to take root within my heart, mind, and soul. And I will report back so that you too can be encouraged to do the same.

What is God teaching you?
What common theme has been infiltrating your life recently?
What do your eyes need to be opened to?

With eagerness and anticipation,

~JH

Some Things Never Change

So this weekend I took a bit of a road trip (6 1/2 hour drive) to Mesa, Arizona to visit a recently engaged best friend. You know how you have those friends that are in your life forever? I know especially with girls, our girl time with our girlie friends make some of the best memories in our lives. Well this friendship started the end of freshman year at Grace Bible College and has not dwindled since. She is definitely one who makes me laugh, no matter the situation we are in. One time we ran out of oil on our way to take her to the Chicago airport (3 1/2 hours away), so we pulled over on the side of the freeway, in the middle of the snow and traffic, and changed the oil. We were complaining…yes, but with laughter in our voices and smiles on our icicle faces.

But just like every relationship, there comes a time when conflict makes itself present. And though they have been few, Elyse and I have had our share of conflicts. However, we never let them get the best of us. After a big one, she knocked on my dorm room door and asked if I could help her eat this pint of Dove’s Double Chocolate ice cream. What girl says no to chocolate?? So I did and over that pint of delicious unhealthiness (I’m pretty sure the label advertised for love handles), we apologized, forgave, and laughed until way to late.

There’s a verse in Ecclesiastes (4:9) that says,

“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: If one falls down, his friend can help him up. But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!”

That is Elyse! In so many ways, she has shown the love of Christ to me. We never have a meaningless conversation. And I can tell the Lord is the center of her life and of her will. We have a freedom in our friendship to rebuke, a love to support and encourage, and the confidence that it is all done with a heart of gold. And so my friends it is my hope and prayer for you, that you would surround yourself with people who love you for who you are. But also, that you would be the friend you wish to have. Is Jesus Christ the center of your life? Is He the center of your relationships? Does He radiate off your face so that others know you are a child of God? Do not live life so busy that you lose time for the friends and family that truly care about you. One day, they may be all we have, and if so, then there is great treasure that needs to be polished.

~Julianna

A Bubble Full of Joy

So this weekend was a series of crazy events…but the most amazing crazy events that could have happened. I do not have time to write now because I just came from brushing my teeth and washing my face and realized that “LACK OF SLEEP” is written in the form of dark circles right below my eyes. But it will come. I promise! I just wanted to share with you guys how amazing our God is and how perfectly He works things out…in His timing.

“A merry heart does good, like medicine, but a broken spirit dries the bones.”

–Proverbs 17:22

What do you have to be joyful about?

Good night and sleep tight.

~JH

A Good Hair Day & Some Worship

Julia Roberts once said, “My real hair color is kind of a dark blonde. Now I just have mood hair.” From brown to blonde to red, and back to blonde, I definitely am sporting the mood hair these days. On Wednesday I went to my wonderful hairstylist, Kelly, for a simple retouch, but came out with an amazing new do. I am now inching my way back to brownish…maybe However, while I was in the salon chair I began thinking about how a good or bad hair-do can make or break a girl’s day. Why is that? For me, if my hair feels gross or looks gross, my day takes on a gloom mood. But if it is freshly washed and amazingly styled (thanks to Kelly) then the hop in my step returns and I can hear the blue birds singing. Can I get an amen?

Then it clicked! In times like that, my mood becomes based on outer influences as opposed to the inner influences. My outer appearance or circumstance was dictating how I saw, treated, and reacted to the world around me. But in reality the hope, joy, forgiveness, and gratefulness I have experienced should be the ones doing the dictating. Then I thought, (you know how one little thought leads to a million different ones and you cannot really figure out how they got connected) how many times is my worship based on my personal experience? When things are going good I praise and celebrate and when things are not going too hot, I cry out of desperation. Now, those things are not bad, but I do not ever want to get to a point in my life where I only praise in the midst of happy days and only desire God in the times of emptiness.

We wrote a song a month ago called “Heavenly Sound” (which is going on the worship album), and it stemmed from the idea that, as children of God, when we decided to worship it is not as if we are starting something new. When we worship we are joining in with the worship that God is already receiving from the nations, creation, and angels in heaven. Revelation 4 and 5 give us a picture of this kind of worship. John says, “And the four living creatures…day and night never cease to say, ‘Holy, holy, holy is the Lord God Almighty, who was and is and is to come’.” (Revelation 4:8). Worship is already happening. God does not need our worship. He does not need our praise. So praising and worshiping Him on the basis of our circumstances is meaningless.

And so I encourage you, as I have been encouraged, evaluate your definition of worship. Is the sincerity of your worship based on your circumstances? Is it merely an experience you seek or is it truly the face of God?

~JH

[Ps, Here are the lyrics for the song:]

Heavenly Sound

Tonight, heaven and earth collide
In response to His wonderful light
The angels and church will cry.

Redeemed, we stand and sing
Of the mercy of our Great King
As we join with the heavenly sound.

Holy, holy, God Almighty
Who was and is and is to come
And the angels sing over and over
And we will join in with their song

And now, the Church will answer the call
And with the angels we’ll stand in awe
And with one voice declare.

The Son, worthy to break the seal
The ransom church revealed
By Jesus the risen Lamb of God.

Who God Chooses

Hey all! Things have been a bit crazy busy around here but I read something a couple weeks ago that I wanted to share with you…something to think about, mull over, chew on, and ponder. It’s from the book Your Scars Are Beautiful to God, by Sharon Jaynes.

Whom God Chooses

When God wants to drill a man,
And thrill a man, and skill a man,
When God wants to mold a man to play the noblest part;
When He yearns with all His heart to create so great and bold a man,
That all the world shall be amazed,
Watch all His methods, watch all His ways.
How He ruthlessly perfects,
When He royally elects!
How He hammers him and hurts him,
And with mighty blows converts him
Into trial shapes of clay which only God understands.
While his tortured heart is crying,
And he lifts beseeching hands!
How He bends but never breaks,
When His good He undertakes.
How He uses whom He chooses
And with every purpose fuses him;
But every act induces him to try His splendor out,
God knows what He’s about!

~Henry F. Lyte

What does this mean to you? Do we serve a cruel God? Or do we serve One who has purpose in pain, growth in trials, and His glory in the victory of His people?

~JH