Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Dear Fear, You Won't Win

Dear Fear, 

You won't win. 

I sometimes get these crazy descriptive nightmares. They come, seemingly, at the most random and inconvenient times. It's been a good while since I last had them {about 7 months} but this time they're back with a vengeance. A while back I had a dream that I woke up as a slave girl in a brothel. Fear overtook my emotions that morning and a better part of that next day. I knew it was a dream and kept reminding myself that it wasn't real. I was me. In Temecula, CA. It was ok. However, that dream spurred me on to get involved in an organization called Love146, realizing that my worst nightmare was another girl's reality. 

The other night, I had the same dream but a different outcome. Again I dreamt that I woke in a brothel with a room full of girls, ages 5-18. The difference between this dream and the last was that I was able to have conversations with the girls. Some of them hated me, others were telling who we were and how we got there. Then something clicked. It was weird. Try to follow this with me. In my dream, I realized I was dreaming. Instantly all fear was gone. Vanished. 

It was like I was free to talk, ask questions, and not fear what I knew what coming. 

It was like God was giving me a window into the reality of these girls lives for just a moment.

I asked alot of questions and got alot of answers. I do not know how many of them are truth and to be honest, I cannot even remember most of them. But what I do remember are the emotions. I remember feeling afraid, but knowing that I didn't have to be. I remember faces. The faces of desperately wounded children. I remember eyes, some begging for freedom, others hardened by the disparity of their circumstances. 

I don't know if I saw real faces of real girls, but I will never forget the urgency I felt as I awoke. I have to do something, I kept saying over and over again that day.

I don't know what it is yet, but I'm working on it. But there is one thing I am certain of: 

Fear has lost its game with me. 

No longer will I be frightened, but rather I will choose to be empowered. And I'd encourage you to do the same. It's hard. It's emotionally exhausting. It's spiritually draining. But it's the greatest investment you'll ever make.

What has been on your heart lately to fight for?

^^^Opinions, two-cents, questions and ramblings are welcome. And go above. Go ahead. Try it.

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