What My Two Year Old Taught Me This Year About Decision Making

January 2015, I decided this year would be my year for "Decisions." 

I wanted to make wise, thought through, calculated and healthy decisions about my life, dreams, family and marriage.

I thought that by deciding to make my decisions this way, I could control the pace at which the situations that called for some decision making came. Did I lose you yet? 

I wanted to be in charge of my life again. I wanted to dictate how fast or slow it would go, depending on the speed of the day or week or month and how my family and I were grooving.

I wanted to, in my mind, finally be an adult about the mature decisions I made.

But after 357 days of toiling to form a routine, a process, a grown up adult plan for my life, I've discovered yet another one of life's dirty little secrets:

The adult decision process is exactly the same as a child's. The only thing that changes is the scenario, setting, weight and complexity surrounding the decision. 

My two year old and I make decisions the exact same way! 

She wants something.
She fights for it.
Someone or something warns her it's not good for her.
She then gets to decide if she will disregard warning for the sake of momentary satisfaction.
Or she gets to decide if she will heed warning and avoid certain heartache.

I want something.
I fights for it.
I then get to decide if I will disregard warning for the sake of momentary satisfaction.
Or I get to decide if I will heed warning and avoid certain heartache.

The only difference is that her decision involves things like a box of cookies or jumping on and off the couch and mine involves situations like whether I'm going to work or stay home after Baby Mo 2 is born. (Ok, sometimes mine involves cookies too.)

Decisions. Deciding. 

Most of us don't blatantly choose the wrong thing. Sometimes we do, but most of the time we want to do what's right, we just don't know what exactly that is. Thus, my lesson for the year:

“All the ways of a man are clean in his own sight, but the Lord weighs the motives.” | Proverbs 16:2

Only God can set my feet on the road to wisdom. He sees my heart, He knows my kryptonite and my strengths. He knows what He's fashioning me for and what I need to let go of.

He knows. And I've found myself laughing because of how little I included Him in my decision making process!

It would KILL ME, if I knew Symphony was up against a big decision, like whether she should poop in her pants or in the toilet, and she felt she didn't have permission to ask before making the wrong decision.

I want her to know she can come to me with any question and I will help her see what she should do.

And I'm not even God! Just a mama that loves her more than anything. Just think of how silly it is that God views us in that same vein, times 1,000,000 and yet going to Him first isn't yet in our routine.

I would make decisions and then ask Him,"Did I do that right?" Instead of inquiring before hand and allowing Him to lead me from the beginning.

And it's not this super spiritual "Jesus please send me a note or an angel to tell me what to do."

It's more like, "Hey, I am seeking You. I need help. I don't know what to do and I need you to give me a peace or discomfort if I'm making the right or wrong decision." 

"But God is my helper. The Lord keeps me alive!" | Psalm 54:4

So 2016, come what may. The crazy, the hustle, the sacrifice, the hidden and the boxes of diapers.

I am not afraid because, yes it took me 300+ days to figure this thing out, but from this point on, most of my decisions won't be made in vain or strife or confusion.

I am seeking God first, on everything.

Ciao --


End of the Year Reading in case you're bored

• Why You Need to Finish Strong This Year
• The Ground is Breaking
• A Letter to My Brother 4 Years Later
• 20 Things to Remember If You Love a Highly Creative Person

My God Will Supply All Your Needs (Even the emotional ones)

I've been feeling a little off balance lately. 

It could be the fluctuating pregnancy hormones. It could be work responsibilities and struggles. It could be I feel like I haven't had time for my marriage. It could be that I haven't sat and read a book to my kid in who knows how long. It could be that everywhere I look there's more sickness and death and mourning and struggle and loss. 

It could be fear. I'm not entirely sure yet. 

So this morning, I walked into the office, lit some candles, put on my new favorite chill playlist and started reading. 

My only agenda was to be refreshed. 

Whenever I'm doing a no agenda Bible read, I usually start with a passage I know will refocus me and then read the chapter before or the chapter after. Or both.

Today, I read before. The passage I started with was a verse I memorized as a child:

"Fear not for I am with you, do not be dismayed for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you. I will uphold you with my righteous right hand." Isaiah 41:10

As a child, this verse brought me comfort in both dire and silly situations. It is my life line. 

So I started there and then read one chapter back. Isaiah 40; a chapter that goes in deep about God's comfort for His people, His promises and how they'll never waiver, and then into His greatness.

It's as if He knows our human minds and tendencies toward doubt and therefore validates Himself, probably unnecessarily, to remind us, again, who He is. 

I read verse one. Verse two. Verse three, four, five, six. Verse seven and eight. Nine and ten. 

I didn't know what I was looking for. All I asked for was a word. A word that would comfort whatever felt off balance. A word that would remind me of what mattered. 

And then verse eleven. 

"God will tend His flock like a shepherd, He will gather the lambs in His arms; He will carry them in his bosom and gently lead those that are with young." Isaiah 40:11

Like jumping into a crisp lake on a blazing, humid, hot Summer day, I got my word (words, really) and my soul was refreshed. 

Why? I found myself asking. Why do you just show up like that when we ask? 

It's simple really, He replied. Because I love you. 

He loves us. All of us. He wants us to ask Him and He will give. He wants us to seek Him and He will be found, pouring out love, security, peace and joy in our hearts, minds, and souls.  

So Jules, and any other girl, wife, mama, student, woman who needs them, here are your words: 

• God is a God of action. He tends, carries, gathers, leads. 
• The actions begin with Him. Alone. He initiates movement.
• His people are His responsibility. Not yours. You show up, but He moves them. 
• The burden is His. He carries. You support. 
• He sees you, young mom of toddlers. He sees your babies and He sees that you have no idea what you're doing. He will teach you. Trust Him again today.
• His mode of operation with His children is gentleness. Always. 

My family is taken care of. My work situations are taken care of. My home is taken care of. My friends and family struggling with life and health and love are taken care of.  There's no need to fear as long as my eyes and ears are open to how He's asking me to step in.

Anybody else need that today? Just me? Ok :)

"And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus." Philippians 4:19

Good, Good Father

I shared this video with my FB pals and the response had me in tears. From the moment I heard this song, I know women (and men) around the world would resonate so deeply with it. I want to sing it everywhere at all times haha. 

As a girl who relied on Jesus to be her Father from a young age and then had a miracle step dad fill the earthly role, this song gets to me.

This beautiful song was originally written and recorded by Housefires.

Dear Parents of Teenagers, We Need You to Stop Freaking Out

Dear Parents of Teenagers, we need you to stop freaking out. 

I'm not talking about "we" as in the world in general. I'm talking about "we", the parents of toddlers. Little ones we're raising in the world you're posting about going to hell in a hand basket. 

Do you remember what it was like to be us? To be young and dumb and yet grasping for any and every book on parenting and discipline and organic food choices?

Do you remember how panicked you were that you'd screw up your kid's nap time routine or that the pacifier would get packed in their high school Jansport? 

We're there. Somewhere between mommy shaming and daycare options, organic and non-organic, co-sleeping and crying it out, we need you to turn around, look us square in the eye and tell us this:

It's going to be okay. 

Of course that's not a hard fast promise. No one really knows when it's going to not be okay any more, but when you post things about the rapid decline of civilization via gay marriage, Trump's wig taking over the world, porn and pot being experimented with at younger and younger ages, we need you to also communicate what Jesus did: H O P E . 

It's true, we need to know the facts. We want to be prepared. Dear sweet Jesus we'd do anything to be prepared. But more than that, we need to know that no matter how dark it may feel in the moment, the world is getting brighter because of parents, God-fearing parents like you.

We need you to show us, not tell us, show us that no circumstance, trend, industry, politics or dating fads can change what Jesus Christ says about us and how He will redeem our world. #fistbump

We need to know you've got our back.

We need to know you're blazing trails ahead of us. 

We need to know you're not curled up in a corner around the bend because more than the porn and the pot and the wigs, that is our worst fear.

That someone won't be there to help us out of the ditch when we get stuck or be at the top of the well when we're ready to move on. 

I know this may feel like a rant, but trust me when I say it's not. It's a plea, from a young mom who has no idea how to do this parenting thing. 

We need you to speak life and hope and power into our parenting. 

We need you to cheer us on because I'm not sure we'll make it without you. 

- - - - - - - - - -
If you're new to this space, I usually reserve Mom talk for Thursdays. This isn't a mom blog. But I do blog and I am a mom. So naturally, it leaks through.

So...Chalk Anyone? | A Baby Surprise!

Guy Version:

We're having a baby!

Girl Version:

It's true. Totally unexpected, but totally true. AH! Ty and I were actually in a fight the day we found out. We'd just moved into our new home, sang at a wedding, had a mini-anniversary/mini-birthday celebration for us and Sym, and did a full weekend at church. 

Needless to say, by Monday I was exhausted. According to Ty, I was irritated, grumpy, and distant. The jury's still out on that... 

Things finally bubbled to the surface when he asked "Babe, you ok?" for like the 17th time. You know that meme that says I was fine until you asked me if I was ok for the 17th time, it was like that. 

Yes, babe, I snapped. I'm fine, I'm just exhausted, hungry, my stomach is bothering me and...we should probably stop by the store on the way home. 

So we did. Got home, peed on that silly stick and so many memories came flooding back. 

I handed it to Ty and he just stared. 

"So, if it has a + sign, it's positive?" he asked. 

WHAT?!

The moment my eyes met the stick I had the same exact feeling I did when I found out with Sym. My stomach dropped the same way and my eyes welled with tears at the same pace. Instantly. 

OK. I looked at Ty, still reeling. This isn't possible. This isn't supposed to be possible. 

But God. :)

It seems His favorite thing to do is the impossible, because then we know, without a shadow of a doubt, it's from Him. 

It always is. 

Also, fun fact: The day after we told family, our old pregnancy announcement on FB resurfaced...but of course we couldn't say, "HEY GUYS NOT PREGNANT!" Because we totally were. #gotcha 

We're so ecstatic (and a little nervous) to add to our little family. Life in Austin has been amazing. This community has quickly become family. We're forming our tribe, and now we're gonna need them more than ever. 

20 Things to Remember If You Love a Highly Creative Person

So I discovered this article, thanks to the ever growing curiosity of Facebook, and my mind has been blown. Not just because I resonate with every single point on this list, but this is my daughter too!

Not sure why I ever doubted creativity would be in her bloodline, but I'm a little humored and embarrassed that a LifeHack list sealed the deal for me. #insertridiculousnessnow
Have a fun read through these, are you a creative too?!

1. They have a mind that never slows down.
The creative mind is a non-stop machine fueled by intense curiosity. There is no pause button and no way to power it down. This can be exhausting at times but it is also the source of some crazy fun activities and conversations.

2. They challenge the status quo.
Two questions drive every creative person more than any others: What if? and Why not? They question what everyone else takes at face value. While uncomfortable for those around them, it’s this ability that enables creatives to redefine what’s possible.

3. They embrace their genius even if others don’t.Creative individuals would rather be authentic than popular. Staying true to who they are, without compromise, is how they define success even if means being misunderstood or marginalized.


4. They have difficulty staying on task.Highly creative people are energized by taking big mental leaps and starting new things. Existing projects can turn into boring slogs when the promise of something new and exciting grabs their attention.

5. They create in cycles.Creativity has a rhythm that flows between periods of high, sometimes manic, activity and slow times that can feel like slumps. Each period is necessary and can’t be skipped just like the natural seasons are interdependent and necessary.

6. They need time to feed their souls.No one can drive cross-country on a single take of gas. In the same way, creative people need to frequently renew their source of inspiration and drive. Often, this requires solitude for periods of time.


7. They need space to create.Having the right environment is essential to peak creativity. It may be a studio, a coffee shop, or a quiet corner of the house. Wherever it is, allow them to set the boundaries and respect them.


8. They focus intensely.Highly creative people tune the entire world out when they’re focused on work. They cannot multi-task effectively and it can take twenty minutes to re-focus after being interrupted, even if the interruption was only twenty seconds.


9. They feel deeply.Creativity is about human expression and communicating deeply. It’s impossible to give what you don’t have, and you can only take someone as far as you have gone yourself. A writer once told me that an artist must scream at the page if they want a whisper to be heard. In the same way, a creative person must feel deep if they are to communicate deeply.


10. They live on the edge of joy and depression.Because they feel deeply, highly creative people often can quickly shift from joy to sadness or even depression. Their sensitive heart, while the source of their brilliance, is also the source of their suffering.


11. They think and speak in stories.Facts will never move the human heart like storytelling can. Highly creative people, especially artists, know this and weave stories into everything they do. It takes longer for them to explain something, explaining isn’t the point. The experience is.


12. They battle Resistance every day.Highly creative people wake up every morning, fully aware of the need to grow and push themselves. But there is always the fear, Resistance as Pressfield calls it, that they don’t have what it takes. No matter how successful the person, that fear never goes away. They simply learn to deal with it, or not.
- - - - - - - - - -

Is this you too!?

Steven Pressfield, author of The War of Art, writes:  “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.”

Click to finish reading the last 8 on Life Hack's original article.

4 Things I Learned in Prison | Hope

You have nothing to say. There's no way she'll relate to you. Can grace really be this deep?

This voice in my spirit would not relent. I don't know if it was my own doubts or some outside source, but it was ugly and mean.

The Word of God is sharper than any double edged sword, I spit back. Greater is HE that is in me than He that is in the world, I repeated it to myself over and over again.

I shook my hands out and bent my knees. I felt like I was going to buckle amidst my group of women.

He came to seek out and save the lost. I was lost and so was she. He came for me and her.

Sarah* was probably the seventh or eighth girl out the big metal door. She shuffled her white sneakers down the ramp and onto the cold damp concrete.

One thing I noticed right away was the two different style of shoes the girls had on. Clean white sneakers and black cloth slip ons with rubber soles. That's interesting, I thought to myself.

As she started looking around, I walked up to her and introduced myself. "Hi, I'm Jules. What's your name?"

"I'm Sarah," she said and as she did her eyes lit up and the corners of her mouth began to widen. Most of these women were numbers. Identity was considered a privilege they didn't have.

The program started and we all sat on the cold hard concrete as the speaker told us her story of brokenness, abuse, and addiction. Sarah sat next to me.

"Do you ever get tired of doing this?" the speaker asked. "Do you ever get tired of running and surviving?" Some of the women answered verbally and others just with their brows and nods.

"Then listen to me, there is rest for you today. Jesus said, 'Come to ME and I will give you rest."

Wiping the tears from my own welling eyes, I glanced at Sarah. Then I looked to my left, behind me, and in front of me and I saw it. I saw the walls cracking and heart gates opening. I saw women, just like you and me, sitting in what looked like an elementary school yard, feel the pain and the loss and the fear.

I saw, old ones and young ones alike, covering their mouths with their sleeves because this woman told them we loved them.

It was obvious they'd never heard that before, or if they did it was followed with a broken promise.

"These women," the speaker continued, "They came here from all over the country just for you."

We huddled into groups of five or six and Sarah, wiping her eyes and a little worried about her makeup, scooted into my group. We talked through the message of the Gospel and then the flood gates opened. It started with Sarah.

"I've been here for 15 years," she said, "and I've got 10 more before I'm even up for parole. My youngest son is in his 20's and I never saw him grow up. I have five grand babies I've never even met. Every day I wake up and ask God why He's keeping me alive. How do I keep the faith with something like that?"

Remember how I noticed the two different styles of shoes? The girls who were in for a short-term didn't waste their commissary money on shoes. They'd get by with the cheap ones. But the sneakers, the clean white crisp sneakers, those girls had lost all hope.

There it was again, that voice. You're in way over your head.

With tears streaming down my face, I leaned in, looked her straight in the eyes and replied, "I have no idea. I have no idea what it's like for you. But I do know this: the God you pray to every morning, if it's the same God I talk to everyday, He is in the business of redemption."

"Even for someone like me?" she asked.

Yes, absolutely yes.

- - - - - - - - - -

As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, "Jesus of Nazareth is passing by."

He called out, "Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!" Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, "Son of David, have mercy on me!"

Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, "What do you want me to do for you?" "Lord, I want to see," he replied. Jesus said to him, "Receive your sight; your faith has healed you."

Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.

Luke 18:35-43

Wholeness, healing, redemption; all things I tend to put subconscious guidelines on. For instance, it'll only come to situations like this and people like that. It's never too radical but definitely not impossible. 

My finite mind has tried so hard to grasp the vast concept of grace and salvation, the undying hope of the world, but it was a pair of crisp white sneakers that made it click for me.

Hope is for everyone. Everyone. There is no limit on God's redemption plan. 

This weekend Sarah was confronted with the same question Jesus asked the blind man, What do you want me to do for you? 

And she answered, "Hope. I want you to give me hope."

*Names changed to protect identity
This post is part of a four part series. Did you miss Part One?

4 Things I Learned in Prison | Faith

We drove up to the back entrance, on the back end of a car line filled with old Cadillacs and soccer mom SUV's. My hands were sweating and my body aching as we pulled into our parking space.

I thought I knew what I was doing, but it turns out I had no idea what I was getting into. This was the kind of thing you can prepare for in theory, but until you do it, your mind grasps desperately for something predictable.

Nothing about this was predictable to me.

As we walked towards the crowd, my manila packet in hand and name badge pinned securely to my black leather jacket, I prayed unbeautiful prayers that sounded more like stuttering than actual supplication.

Help me, I'm not sure, what am I doing? How, how, how did I ever think I could make a difference here?

Yet, regardless of what I thought I should or shouldn't be doing, there I was, walking myself alongside an army of grandmothers, mothers, recovering addicts, widows and a few college girls into a small door on the corner of what can only be described as the Jericho of chain link fences.

We had come to prison.

And I was terrified.

But not of them. Of me.

As we walked along the freshly cut grass of the maximum security women's only prison, and into a gym that steamed of clorox and lemon, I thought, "What exactly am I going to say to  a woman who was incarcerated for things I can't even dream up??" A lot of these women were here for life.

Who was I, this girl with standard life, to tell them about joy and freedom and redemption?

I doubted God's move on this one, but promised I would keep my heart and my eyes and my ears open to hear from Him and seek out hopelessness.

Unfortunately, I didn't have to look far.

As we walked through their dorms, toward the backlot where we'd have our gathering, I could have cried, seeing the vast pendelum of reactions when a dozen women walked through their "home" smiling and greeting them with all warmness and care.

Some were furious. Some were confused. And some lit up like a child on Christmas morning.

They looked at us like we weren't real.

Hopelessness wasn't far off.

- - - - - -

What do you do when God calls you to something you feel completely and utterly inadequate to accomplish?

What do you do when you have no concrete idea what you're actually supposed to be doing? 

I had a lot of questions and about 7 minutes to discern an answer. Or so I thought. For most of the morning, I thought I needed the entire roadmap to be effective. I needed to see the destination and work backwards in order to not end up off roading or stuck in a ditch I couldn't get out of. 

Nevertheless, I had a gut wrenching feeling God was going to do, once again, what He'd been faithful to do all my life:

God was going to guide my steps. Not give me a full delineation of the game plan.  

In other words, I had to move, walk, step instead of sitting in the paralyzing planning phase of the moment. 

Reason is knowing and trusting a proven God. Faith is super scary movement based on reason. 

And faith makes mountains move.

So I walked. Right up to a beautiful woman named Sarah.*

To be continued.

*Names have been changed to protect identity. 

Fear May Nag Us in Every Season

Sometimes there's seasons where I'm grinding through so much, I can't write it all down quick enough. And when I do find time to get something on paper or in this blog, it doesn't quite make sense. 

At least not yet. 

So that's where I'm sitting at the moment. In my apartment, windows open, babe asleep and dish washer running, and waiting. I'm waiting for it to make sense. 

There's so much to celebrate right now and yet my mind keep gravitating towards the fear. Fear of what could be's or what should be's. 

Will I ever get a hold of fear? 

Will I ever be able to hold it in my fists, look it in the eye and have the last word? 

Is it always elusive or can it be conquered to the point of dissipation? 

Maybe this is why my friend Paul from the first century Church said, 

"This resurrection life you received from God is not a timid, [fearful], grave-tending life. It’s adventurously expectant, greeting God with a childlike “What’s next, Papa?” God’s Spirit touches our spirits and confirms who we really are. We know who he is, and we know who we are: Father and children." (Romans 8:15 MSG)

Maybe, just maybe in these moments of this life, the existence of fear is my reality because I cannot see the entire storyline. If I could, I'd have no need for fear. 

Maybe, I have the question wrong. 

Maybe it isn't, "When will fear cease," but rather, "How deep does my trust go for the One who conquers it?"

This is tough stuff.

It makes our T-shirt Christianity feel a little flimsy at times, eh?  You know you wore them too: WWJD (what would Jesus do?), FROG (fully rely on God), LGLG (Let go, Let God). 

Fear may nag us in every season, but at the end of the day, we can rest in this:

He who began in a good work in you (and me) will be faithful to see it to full completion.

And if we hold fast to God, as a child clings to her Father, our race will not be in vain.

There is nothing, no man or woman, no circumstance or trial, no sin or amount of shame that can keep the love of God from enveloping us. Forever.
Faith. Hope. Love, and the greatest of these is love. 

Fear will always lose to love.

- - - - - - - - - -

"We’ve been given a glimpse of the real thing, our true home, our resurrection bodies! The Spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s ahead. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less." 2 Corinthians 5 

The Boy I Met at Starbucks

It was Tuesday morning and I did the same thing I always do on Tuesday's. 

I woke up at 5am, slammed my snooze button, dragged myself out of my warm sheets and got started with my normal-every-Tuesday-morning-routine. I drove to Starbucks, swapped the typical weather jokes with my favorite barista, ordered my grande coffee and bagel, and walked out the freshly decorated glass door.

What wasn't routine was the scraggly teenage boy I ran into on my way to the truck. He was asking for something and though I didn't clearly hear him, I assumed it was money. I said sorry, I didn't have any, and continued on toward the truck. 

He didn't ask again and he didn't pester. But something in my head did. Did he ask for money or food? I quickly spun around and asked, do u need food? His reply was so innocent and affirmative so I held out my goodie bag and said, here ya go, a toasted bagel with cream cheese made just for you. He smiled so big, I thought his lip ring was gonna pop out. 

I didn't think anything of it until I got in the truck and started pulling away. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw the boy peeling open the cream cheese, so carefully and joyfully, like it was freaking Christmas morning. I drove to the office, weeping like a broken hearted mother. 

I didn't know this boy. I had no idea what kind of trouble or circumstances got him to the streets, but I do know that he is someone's son. And if my son were out on the streets, asking for food at 6:30 in the morning, I know I'd want that busy looking girl to stop and give him her bagel. ~

Photo Credit

Why You Need to Finish Strong This Year

30 more days. 2014 has only 30 more days and then it's gone forever. 

It's crazy to me that this year, this day, will never again exist in history. 

There are moments I wish my days away. Not in a daydreamy sort of way, but more like a Man-I-wish-you-would-go-away sort of way.  Have you ever felt like that? 

There's nothing you want more than for this day to fade and morning to come. Nothing got done today. The kids are too hard to parent today. The job just won't let up. The family can't seriously make anymore drama. 

Am I getting close? 

There's hardly anything more exciting or revitalizing like "new." New days, new products, new seasons, new years. I don't wanna do this anymore, we sigh. I just want to start over. 

In the middle of the mud, we crave a clean slate. (Click it to Tweet it!)

But here's a dirty little secret no one tells us about starting over: Our monumental memories are in the middle of the mud.

Character is made in the mud. 

Virtue is tested in the mud. 

Integrity of heart and soul is built up in the mud.

To hit the reset button everytime we got a little dirty would do a great disservice to humanity. Nothing would finish because dirt is a reality. Nothing would complete because our hands wouldn't be rough enough to handle the pressure. Nothing would move forward because moving something as big as legacy and generations are bound to well up sweat and tears amidst the weather of life. 

Getting out of the mud is a small goal for our year. What if we strapped in and committed to making it out of the mud of 2014 with treasure we discovered at the bottom of the pit? 

We have 30 days left. 

Is your marriage breaking? Are your grades flatlined? Do your children feel distant or are you half-a**ing your way through the workday? Maybe there's a dream you feel is impossible, especially in 30 days. Try it. I dare you. 

Some of you have already found your treasure this year and it might be time to start making your way out. 

Some of you have been so focused on the water pressure it'll take to wash this year off. Stop and look around. What are you missing?

Some of you have fallen asleep. In a mud pit. Wake up. Your year is not lost. 

And some have stubbed your toe on the treasure, thinking it was a rock. Stoop down, feel around, and pick it up. You might be surprised. 

Regardless of where you are or where you aren't, give it all you got and let's finish this year strong. 

- - - - - - - - - -

My Momma use to write verses on index cards and stick them around my life, my room, my car etc. Here are some verses and inspirational quotes you can stick around your space to remind you to keep going, every moment of everyday. 

I’m not saying that I have this all together, that I have it made. But I am well on my way, reaching out for Christ, who has so wondrously reached out for me. Friends, don’t get me wrong: By no means do I count myself an expert in all of this, but I’ve got my eye on the goal, where God is beckoning us onward—to Jesus. I’m off and running, and I’m not turning back. 

So let’s keep focused on that goal, those of us who want everything God has for us.

Philippians 3:12-16

Defeat doesn't finish a man, quit does. A man is not finished when he's defeated. He's finished when he quits.

Richard Nixon

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith.

2 Timothy 4:7

It's the job that's never started as takes longest to finish.

J. R. R. Tolkien

Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. 

1 Corinthians 9:24

Is Break Time an Act of Love?

Break time. 

Break break break time.

Breaking time.

Making a break in time.

For what?

What could possible be so important that we'd need to break the rhythm of time?

Sanity.

Peace.

Balance. 

I'm one of those people who have a hard time finding the self control to actually break my time. Sure I'll sit down to chill, but I'm on my phone or making a list, or thinking about how dirty that computer screen is. 

It's easier for my mind to keep computing and reacting and listing than it is for it to be completely silent. 

Why is that, I wonder. 

Maybe because some how, busyness and ultimate productivity has become an idol in the way I view my world. (Click it to tweet it!)

How much did I get done today? 

How far down my list did I make it?

How many loads did I wash and fold? 

How hard did I exercise and how clean did I eat? 

How happy is my child and did I teach her enough today? 

If the answer to these questions are not average or above, my day feels wasted. 

You too? 

Break time. 

Who has time for breaks? There's stuff to be done!

But no matter how fast or hard or long we work, it'll never be enough. 

If God doesn’t build the house, the builders only build shacks.

If God doesn’t guard the city, the night watchman might as well nap.
It’s useless to rise early and go to bed late, and work your worried fingers to the bone.
Don’t you know he enjoys giving rest to those he loves?

(Psalm 127:2)

Our efforts are long-winded unless they are built on the calling of our season. And when they are built on the calling of our season, then rest, amidst the toil, will come straight from heaven above. 

Because He loves us. He said so Himself. 

So does that mean, taking a break from the hustle and bustle is really an act of receiving and accepting love?

Maybe.

Break time. Necessary time. Steadying the heart and soul before it falls off balance.
Break time. Valuable time. Spent on centering and repositioning our mind and emotions.
Break time. Rest time. God given time to breathe in, breathe out, and start again.

- - - - - - - - - - -
What are you thoughts on break time? 

Giving Up Stability...For Now.

The season in Austin just turned overnight. It went from gorgeous days of sunshine and crisp air to windchill and freezing temps. Where are we?!

This California girl is realizing how inadequate her family's wardrobes are. Shopping anyone? 

We're in the busy season of church life: women's conference, Thanksgiving, Christmas, so home cooked meals and daily laundry days are a rarity these days. Who am I kidding, they're pretty rare regardless, but even more so now. Haha.

But I love my family. I love that we are us and we do things our way and it works. It's too easy to compare lifestyles with the families next door (or on Instagram). (Click it to tweet it!) But I am so grateful to have a husband who loves Chic-fil-a and a daughter who laughs just because she's with us. 

It's the small things ya know? 

“It's not hard to decide what you want your life to be about. What's hard, she said, is figuring out what you're willing to give up in order to do the things you really care about.”  

- Shauna Niequist 

Amen. 

Fresh laundry, clean floors, use of our kitchen table and the rhythm of routine are definitely things I want for my family. Someday. However, for the Mo's, in this season, we're giving up the stable stereotypes for the flurry of fast-paced ministry. 

It might change in the next few years to accommodate coming shifts, and I'm okay with that too. 

But for today, we eat out way too much, watch movies late, have Starbucks dates with our one year old, make up loud silly songs about everything and laugh all the time.

It's our normal and I wouldn't change a thing.

- - - - - - - - - -

What season are you in? Are you ready for a change or are you rocking it? 

- - - - - - - - - -

If you're new to this space, I usually reserve Mom talk for Thursdays. This isn't a mom blog. But I do blog and I am a mom. So naturally, it leaks through. 

How Growth is Slow, Boring, and Beautiful

Faster is not better. But it is more satisfying. 

We want to lose the weight faster. We want to get to work via the fastest route. We want to find the quickest way to make the best cup of coffee. We want our kids to be done with the diaper stage asap. We want our spouses to grow up yesterday, and dinner to take a maximum of 45 seconds. We want longer hair, thicker eyelashes, more data and for goodness sake can someone please get my Netflix to stop buffering. 

Are you with me on these? 

But what I'm realizing more and more is things that take time turn out the most beautiful. (Tweet it!) 

My window herbs are the most beautiful plant in my house. Probably because they're the only real ones. Their green is just the right level of bright and velvety. Their fragrance wafts when I walk by. And I prefer their flavor over my $3 jarred spices anyway. 

But these little guys did't just sprout as full grown plants. They started out as seedlings. Tiny, tiny seedlings. Tiny seedlings that grew. 

And grew.

And grew. 

Slowly. Beautifully. 

So why do we rush? If we truly want the best for ourselves and the people we love around us, why do we insist on expediting the finely tuned process we call time?

This may just be for me, but I'm learning time is on my side. It's no secret I'm an everything-now kind of girl. 

So I choose to let the monotonous and mundane change me. (Click it to tweet it!) Whatever that looks like. As the fire fortifies and brightens gold, I choose to be set a blaze, even if it's in the low embers of time. 

I choose to push through the dirt of circumstance and season, slowly, just to see the light of day as greener, bolder, and more fragrant to those around me. 

The seed which fell among the thorns, these are the ones who have heard, and as they go on their way they are choked with worries and riches and pleasures of this life, and bring no fruit to maturity. "But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance. LUKE 8:14-15

Symphony's First Birthday

The last 365 days with this babe have been straight blissful. I wish I was over-exaggerating. Nearly everyday Ty and I look at each other and ask some variation of, "How did we get so lucky with this kid?"

Sure, our lives have changed. However, not as drastically as we anticipated. We were terrified of parenthood. Probably one too many horror stories combined with Google. (That's another blog for another time.) But we are overwhelmed and mildly taken by surprise, by how much of a blessing this little one has been.

From the moment she was known, she's brought joy.

The food was all cute and small. Like a baby. Baby pb&j's, bite sized fruit, donut holes, cake donuts, cupcakes, yum!

Sym's finally getting in to reading. Although she gets bored by page five or six and would rather turn pages for 15 minutes. #babies But Sofie will crack her up forever. 

Although it was my favorite part, Sym wasn't sure about the smash cake. It was more like a lightly-touch-and-observe-cake. But there were some adult casualties. #hestartedit My girl is an observing rule follower. Whether I'm excited or nervous about that is to be determined.

I'm in a bit of denial that it's been a year already, but I hear they just get faster. This year will be a new journey for us as parents with a different way of life in a brand new city and community. But as usual, we're excited.

The responsibility of raising a girl in this generation can feel a bit daunting at times. I know she's cute and squishy and all smiles now, but there may come a day when her rebellious spirit takes over and I cry on the bathroom floor after grounding her for a week.

And in those moments, I will find this post, and flip through her baby book and remember that she was created for a purpose.

I will remember her identity is not in being our daughter, but being God's daughter. 

He loves her more than we ever could and I will learn the freedom that comes with that truth.

-- But feel free to remind me. 

Which Step Would You Take?

When the rubber meets the road, for a woman striving for wholeness, 

there comes a point when she is presented with the option to step forward or step away.

It's a risky step. The chances of making the wrong decision are 50%.

Stepping away means she would be free from delegations, duties, and desires of others.

Stepping away means she might bravely reject the imposed requests of her.

Stepping away, in the opposite direction of her pre-coursed season would mean breaking the tide.

This can be good. This can be bad.

Stepping forward means she would be accepting the delegations, duties, and desires of others.

Stepping forward means she might bravely take responsibility for what she's been given.

Stepping forward, in the imposed direction of her pre-coursed season would mean keeping peace, unity.

This can be good. This can be bad.

So how can she know which step to take? Is there a road map, 

filled with the consequences of each decision, for sound judgement?

No. But there is wisdom. An abundance of wisdom from the One who has laid her course for her.

"For the Lord gives wisdom;

from his mouth come knowledge and understanding;

He stores up sound wisdom for the upright;

he is a shield to those who walk in integrity,

guarding the paths of justice

and watching over the way of his saints.

Then you will understand righteousness and justice

and equity, every good path;

for wisdom will come into your heart,

and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul;

discretion will watch over you,

understanding will guard you."

Proverbs 2:6-11

photo source / edited by jmorlet