Singing is my life. There was a time when I had no talent and I still sang. Any ounce of talent that may or may not come out of these lungs is attributed to the prayer of a desperate mother. As she walked by my room one day, she saw a 4 year old singing at the top of her lungs, totally out of tune. In that moment, she said a silent prayer to God that went something like, "Dear Lord, please give her a voice because she's probably going to sing whether she has one or not."
I threw myself into music from the ages of 9-18. From the church choir to the weekend band to a girls group where we had more fun dressing up for competitions than we did in the actual competition.
Music, or more specifically singing, was my life.
Then, after a weird chain of events, I left California after high school graduation for a school in Grand Rapids, Michigan. It wasn't my first choice. I applied for only one school, because I had the grades and scholarships (I hoped) would get me in and they had the program I wanted.
June came and went. Then July. I was starting to get nervous. I at least wanted a rejection letter so I could move on with my life. (Insert dramatic face here.) I called the Admissions and the woman said my application was never processed. She put me on hold, checked her stack and came back with an apology in her tone. "I'm so sorry," she said. "I'm not sure how this happened but your application must have gotten missed somehow. It's still sealed on my desk."
Oh snap.
She then proceeded to tell me about a rush process and I kindly told her it wasn't her fault. God had clearly closed the door on my college dreams.
I was frustrated. Confused and immaturely offended. At God.
Didn't He realize if I went to that school, how much I would learn and help people?!
Then, as my mother always sweetly did, she wrote this verse on a 3X5 card and posted it on my bedroom mirror:
Trust in the LORD with all your heart And do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths straight. Do not be wise in your own eyes ; Fear the LORD and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your body And refreshment to your bones. (Proverbs 3:5-8)
Fast forward two months, I flew to Michigan to start my Freshman year at Grace Bible College. I knew it was a small school and that my dad attended there his first two years of college. But when I arrived, there were 150 students enrolled and no Fall music program.
I was so fearful God was going to take my voice away. That maybe He was showing me something else to do or someone else to be.
I panicked. And by "panicked" I mean I joined the Soccer team. Long story. Let's move on.
After a game (okay we'll move on after this story), I had just showered off the shame of my horrible soccer playing skills and like any girl who's desperate for someone to listen, I called my Mom.
We talked for hours and she reminded me, once again, of that Proverbs. "God knows your heart baby," she encouraged. "He knows you're a songbird. Trust Him."
Two weeks later music auditions were announced. For the next two (amazing) years, it felt like I never stopped singing.
As Christians, we often forget that the God we've entrusted our lives to, He's trustworthy. He knows what He's doing.
I cannot count the times I've seen only the "disaster" or "disappointment" standing right in front of me, only to later realize that disastrous disappointment was but a small brush stroke in the painting of my life.
And our lives, as important as mine is to me and yours is to you, are but brush strokes in the painting of humanity.
And humanity, as important as it is to us and to God, is but a brush stroke in the painting of our God, His nature, His character, and His beauty.
Isn't that just marvelous?
So trust not your own understanding but acknowledge Him, His plan in all you do. And I'll do the same.
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*If you're just joining us, first you'll notice I'm behind. But we don't talk about that ;) For the month of October, I'm sharing 31 verses that changed my life. Do you have some too? Share them with us on Facebook!
