And the Song Writing Continues

We’re back in the zone again! The words are flying, melodies ringing, harmonies falling into place, concepts becoming concrete. Song-writing is such a weird thing because the song becomes who you are, what you have been through or what you are going through. In these last couple days of engagement Tyson and I have felt an enormous weight of brokeness for the loved ones around us. It was initially weird to us that all this emotional turmoil would hit so close to our wedding day, a time when we were supposed to be over-the-top excited. But then we both realized how natural it really is. If we cannot hurt with one another, how will we relate. That is what the Christian life is about: community, accountability, love, compassion and grace.

So as we hurt with our loved ones who hurt, and rejoice with those who rejoice, we know that in these next couple of days and the next 50+ years, they will hurt when we hurt, and celebrate when we celebrate.

Oh how I love the body of Christ. Oh how I love my family.

What does community mean to you?
Who should you be hurting with?
Who should you be celebrating with?

~Julianna

Who Forgets About Their Wedding Cake???

Me! I love sweets, I love candy, I love desserts, so how on earth could I have forgotten about my own wedding cake? We know what I’ll be doing tomorrow. Along with bridesmaid shoe searching, reception list making, and flower ordering. One step at a time.

The last two months have been quite interesting. A couple friend of ours got engaged on Tuesday and it was like living the happiness and excitement all over again. I feel like it should be too soon to say, “Remember when we got engaged…” but that’s what we said! haha. Everything is still a fresh memory, but life has a way of solidifying those memories with real life happenstances. Those joys and feelings of love have quickly been tested by the roots of commitment and selflessness.

I led worship last weekend at our Women’s Retreat and the last day I shared about what I was currently learning in the Word of God. At the time is was a small lesson that I did not know was going to grow into the cornerstone of my future marriage. The lesson was this: God gives every human being a calling…every woman, every man. But when God has called a woman into marriage, her primary ministry and service to God transfers from those around her to her husband. In their marriage, he becomes the minister. He becomes the hands and feet, the mouth and wisdom of their relationship and she serves him as unto the Lord. Now this is not a power issue, nor is it a “all women should be seen and not heard” speech. Me of all people would never in a million years agree with those statements. However, the Lord fashioned me, shaped me, molded me to fit this man who He fashioned, shaped, and molded to fit me and together we complete the work He has called us to. I think I got to a point in my life where “the next step” was a godly man who could take me, take us, where I had never been before; musically and spiritually. He is now our leader. The responsibility is on him to seek the Lord for the direction of our lives and my responsibility is to pray for him as he leads. He has a huge responsibility:

“Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word, so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish…” Ephesians 5:25-7

Our husbands (future husbands) now have the responsibility to present us (wives, future wives) blameless before God, just as Christ will with the Church. Can you imagine?! But I know and I believe the God has bestowed grace upon such a sinful mankind that he will be able to accomplish the task. We are their helpers. We are their prayer warriors.

Now, I hope that you can see the image of my tear stained face between these typed lines because I have not lived up to this. It is not until recently that I have begun to live in a daily battle with my stubborn mind, my wounded heart, and my broken spirit to allow Tyson to lead me. And I know I am not alone. How many of us are afraid to trust? How many are afraid to allow someone to determine the direction of your life? How many live in fear of the plethora of possible mistakes he could make? ME! But I truly believe God honors the praying, believing woman. That is what LOVE is:

“Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”
~1 Corinthians 13:7

It bears the burdens of life. It believes in the ability and the heart of your husband. It hopes for the best, giving the benefit of the doubt. And it endures the trials and troubles that come with the package.

This is love.

And for those of you who are single or dating, pray for your future husbands. Do not obtain this attitude of independence because it can easily turn to pride and arrogance…been there. Done that. Join with me as we, together, live into the humble power of prayer and love for the men in our lives.

~J

The Power of the Cross

It has been a while since I have written and for that I apologize. It is so easy for me to forget the great importance of mellow, reflective down time. Last week and the week approaching finds Tyson and I very busy with work and church, but it’s a good busy because this week is the passion week; the week of events leading up to Christ’s horribly gruesome death and glorious resurrection. (For a list of the events for this week click here.)

As many of you know, today is Palm Sunday; the day that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey welcomed by the Jews as their King. He was the one they had waited for. “Hosanna!” they cried (meaning: God save now), for they knew Jesus was sent to save them. But much to their surprise and dismay, Jesus was not coming to redeem them in the manner they had expected a great King to. Instead of over-throwing the Roman Empire, Jesus’ life portrayed humble submission and peace. The same Jesus they were worshipping and clinging to one day was the same Jesus they demanded crucified the next. Even pagans found no wrong in Him, yet because the people were so adamant, they ordered him crucified. (Luke chapters 22-24)

Bearing the treacherous pain and agonizing torment, the wrath of God was poured out upon the innocent lamb of God. Think about that for a second….God did not spare His own Son…His perfect Son…His beloved Son…All because of His sovereign and righteous judgement and amazing grace. The Gospel of Jesus Christ is all about grace. The message of the Bible is all about grace. The purpose of life is all about grace. John Piper says this about Jesus’ death and resurrection:

“Christ did not die to forgive sinners who go on treasuring anything above seeing and

savoring God. And people who would be happy in heaven if Christ were not there, will

not be there. The gospel is not a way to get people to heaven; it is a way to get people

to God. It’s a way of overcoming every obstacle to everlasting joy in God. If we don’t

want God above all things, we have not been converted by the gospel.”

Jesus did not endure what He did just so the population of heaven could rise. He came, died, and rose again for the purpose of bridging the gap between sinful man and a holy God. And in bridging that gap, He conquered death, sin, and condemnation by rising again through it all! He came to set the pace of a greater, more satisfying life of freedom from the bondage of the law. The freedom of grace. For me, it is not an option to live life without my Savior. It would be merely impossible. “If God is God—and He is—small with him is better than big with anybody. His old things are better than anybody’s new things. Being his child is better than having the world. And better to be blind with the invisible God than to see everything without him.” (John Piper) The gospel gives us a new life! It literally means for me to have a perspective change in EVERY area of my life. To refocus upon the cross of Jesus and the holiness of God. Who am I but a sinner saved by the grace of a loving and just God?

I cannot change my way of thinking, I am prone to sin.

It is the power of the Gospel that transforms lives and many of us bear witness to that.

So this Easter, what will you be celebrating?

How is the power of the Gospel transforming your life?

~JH

(Some extra reading: Romans 1:16; Romans 8:32; 1 Corinthians 1:18-31)

Life Happens

Hey all! Sorry for the delay in another post. These days my life consists of wedding plan decisions (too many!), work, school, music, and family. I have realized that I go through this cyclical pattern of crazy high energy and plummeting down time. And now is one of those down times. How on earth did I stay up ‘til 1AM and then go to History 113 at 7:30 the next morning when I was back at Grace?! Those were the days. So needless to say that I am absolutely useless right now. My head is throbbing and my eyes are closing as I type. [I’ll probably end up like the baby in the picture.] But this week has definitely been a very reflective week.

Just in the last week there has been 4 funerals at the church and every one has made me think deeper and more often about the joys in my life, but also about the joys in the life to come. Paul writes to the churches in Colossians 3:2, “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” This is because the only stability in our lives will come from the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Health will fail, jobs will be lost, cars will die (or run out of gas), grades will rise and fall, relationships will be torn and mended, loved ones will pass away, but the Word of God and the promises of God will never pass away, they will never fail, they will never run out or be broken. How amazing is that truth?!

So my friends, for this next week, make it a project to deliberately set your mind on eternal things. When something goes wrong, God is the same…and He doesn’t panic.

Together, let us gain a w i d e r perspective this week.

~JH

The Beginning of Forever: I'm Engaged!!

I'm marrying a  hopeless romantic.

This proposal day (yes it was a whole day) is definitely one for the history books. Here’s how it went:

It was my birthday (February 21) and he had a whole day planned and then later that night we were having a party at my house. So at 8:30 AM Tyson picked me up in his freshly waxed truck and we went to the bank to open our savings account. (He had also made me a mix-CD that he said was to be the soundtrack for our day.) We needed to get it done and that was the only day we could do it, or so I thought. From there, he had scheduled an appointment at Bella Nail Salon for me to get a pedicure. Then we drove down to San Diego.

The whole car ride I swore we were going to the zoo. Of course he would not give me any hints but he had that crooked sneaky smirk, that confirmed my hunch. When we arrived at our location I was sorely mistaken, but it was a good mistaken because we were going KAYAKING! I love kayaking and had always wanted him to go with me, but knew he never would because he hates the ocean. Boy was I surprised.

After kayaking we drove back to Temecula and he took me to the mall to buy me a dress for the party. A couple try-ons later we landed on the perfect red dress and were off to the Christian bookstore. He gave me a gift certificate and told me to choose whatever book, devotional I wanted. I looked around and he looked around and when we met in the middle we both saw the perfect book: The Brides Handbook. It has a daily devotional in it along with a plethora of wedding planning tips…ironic.

From there we rushed home to change and pretty ourselves up before the second to last stop. Callaway Winery. It was the perfect dinner and the most romantic atmosphere. And then I started getting nervous. We had one more stop before the party and when we turned left out of the winery I knew where we were going. On our first date we found this hill by my house, we turned the radio to loud, and danced for hours. That’s where we were going, our dancing hill.

We turned onto the street, hand in hand, with Chris Tomlin’s version of “All the Way My Savior Leads Me” playing in the background, and the tears started coming. At that moment I knew what was happening. When we got to the top of the hill there laid a blanket, candles, and his guitar. (My brother had gone earlier to set it all up.) Then it was time. For each place we had gone that day, he gave me an envelope with what they represented in our relationship.

1. The Bank- (Ephesians 5:25) The investment of my time, my money, and my energies will always go first to serving you my bride.

2. The Bookstore- (Ephesians 5:26) My utmost priority will always be guarding your integrity and purity just as Christ did for the church, we will always have a devotional life.

3. The Mall- (Ephesians 5:27) I will work hard to make sure you always have what you need.

4. The Nail Salon- (Ephesians 5:28) I will always cherish your body and am so thankful for how beautiful you are.

5. The Picnic Lunch- (Ephesians 5:29) I will work hard to always make sure you have food to eat!!

6. The Kayaking- (Ephesians 5:31) We will grow together as one as we face our joys, challenges, and our FEARS!

7. The Winery- (Ephesians 5:32) As we are together, I will work to make sure that our relationship always has the fragrance of Christ.

and the last one said

8. The Song.

(Click to listen: May I Have This Dance)

I looked up, tears streaming from my eyes, and he sang me a song that he had written for this moment, in which the last line said, “Will you be my wife?” AH! Then he pulled the ring from the back of his guitar, got down on one knee, said an amazing speech, and I said YES! Then…to top it all off, he informed me that the birthday party we were going to was not a birthday party…it was an engagement party! And everyone was in on it! 

So the perfect day turned into the perfect night as we celebrated with friends and family, and even my sister joined us via cell phone and video chat. Praise the Lord for technology. At one point all 60 of us gathered in our upstairs living room for what felt like a great big family meeting. My dad gave a devotional and welcomed Ty to the family and one of our pastors prayed over us. It is the most peaceful feeling to have the people you love surround you and support this new phase of your life. Because there is comfort knowing that when things get tough, unexpected trials come or troubles barge in, or when exciting things happen and memories are made, our whole family will be there…no matter what.

So thank you dear family.

Thank you dear friends.

And thank you dear Tyson, the love of my life.

I am overwhelmed with thankfulness and joy as we embark on this new adventure together.

Basking in Grace

This season is definitely a season of crazy learning for me. And by crazy learning I mean non-stop learning. It seems a though everyday there is something new to accomplish, a new task to conquer, a new problem to overcome. And sometimes it gets tiring. Not just emotionally, but physically, mentally, and spiritually. I was driving and praying a couple days ago, that God would give me some sort of relief from myself. Relief from thinking about and analyzing every single thing that comes my way. My little sister use to say, “Sissy, my brain just doesn’t stop.” I feel you sister, I feel you.

But then I heard one of the pastors on the radio read a verse from Colossians 1 that spoke about the mystery of the gospel and how Christ in us is the hope of glory. And even now as I type, I cannot express to you the reality that hit me by that little phrase. I don’t even think that was the main point of his message but it really moved me. CHRIST is our HOPE in GLORY! Meaning that there is hope and there is victory because Jesus conquered all in His death and resurrection. Then the next day Tyson and I were doing our devotions and we read from Galatians 2:20 which says,

“I have been crucified with Christ; and it is no longer I that live, but Christ living in me: and that life which I now live in the flesh I live in faith, the faith which is in the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself up for me.”

He pointed out the underlinings in this verse and spoke further truth into my heart. That all I see now is a girl who is filled and driven by emotion, a girl who cannot stop analyzing every worry and fear in her life, a girl who cannot seem to live every moment of every day in the grace of Jesus. Though this may be all I see now, I must must must have confidence in knowing that my Savior is living in me! He is doing His work through me, not because of me, but because of Him and His amazing grace.

And in this, I…simply…rest.

I need to “live in faith”.

With faith comes rest, and with trust comes relief.

Do you need relief?

~JH

Surely Goodness and Mercy

So the day after I wrote the previous blog, I went to Starbucks, ordered a venti iced passion tea (unsweetened of course), and sat down in the small cozy corner couch with my journal, pen, and bible in hand. I was so ready. All day I had been waiting and praying and thinking about the last couple months of my life and reflecting on the faithfulness God has shown me. But before I get into that I wanted to share with you a scripture that spoke volumes to me over the last 5 months and gave me hope for my future as a child of God. (And I’m just warning you now: this will most definitely be a long one.) It is Psalm 81:8-16 and it says,

Hear, O my people, while I admonish you! O Israel, if you would but listen to me!
There shall be no strange god among you; you shall not bow down to a foreign god.
I am the LORD your God, who brought you up out of the land of Egypt.
Open your mouth wide, and I will fill it.

But my people did not listen to my voice; Israel would not submit to me.
So I gave them over to their stubborn hearts, to follow their own counsels.
Oh, that my people would listen to me, that Israel would walk in my ways!
I would soon subdue their enemies and turn my hand against their foes.
Those who hate the LORD would cringe toward him, and their fate would last forever.
But he would feed you with the finest of the wheat, and with honey from the rock
I would satisfy you.”

Now there is so much packed into this passage, but from it came three priceless lessons.

First, there is the idea of false gods replacing the one true God in the hearts of His people. How easy it is for things, people, circumstances to come between our relationship with God? So easy! Life gets busy sometimes and I definitely allow my priorities to become jumbled. So lesson #1, I need to guard my time with the Lord. I need to actively make it a priority to be with Him, to know Him and to seek His will.

Secondly, God is telling His people that He promises to take care of them if they come to Him in all things. “Walk in my ways!” Contrary to some beliefs, God is not our enemy. If He was our enemy, He would have pushed the smite button on us all already. What hateful, harmful, and hurtful God sends His one and only Son to be sacrificed for people who had no desire to know Him? That is crazy! Only a God that unconditionally loves His people would do that. So why would I ever, ever, ever decide to contradict what I know He has called me to do. Lesson #2, trusting God is the most challenging “no-brainer” principle.

Thirdly, there are two promises in this passage: “Open your mouth and I will fill it” and “I would satisfy you”. God is not holding back the blessings that outflow from His character. I just sometimes choose not to receive them, because of pride or self-centeredness. Lesson #3, God always keeps His promises, to those who walk in in His ways! Always, always, always.

Side Note: After I had written this down in my journal I re-read it (as I do with alot of my entries) and as I was
reading, this adorable little lady across from me said, “Wow, that’s a smile worth asking about.” So I shared
with her what I am sharing with you and she expressed to me that she had been a Christian most of her life
and was still having to relearn these lessons everyday. It’s a life long process!

So these were the lessons learned, but who cares? What are the practical implications of them? When did these truths get put to the test? I’ll tell you when. When God confirmed my heart for worship, took away my money for the school I was currently enrolled in, and gave me a man who loves Him so deeply and has the same heart, the same mind, and the same calling in life as me; all in His perfect timing. Tyson has been the biggest joy and love in my life because he is to me what the end of that passage is speaking of: “the finest of wheat and the honey of the rock”. For me, He is the promise of God that ties it all together, because together we are fulfilling the individual callings God placed on our lives. God knew from the beginning and He brought us, our lives, together to glorify Him. Not by power, not by might, not by reason, nor by convenience, but by His Spirit. And for that I am in overwhelmingly in awe and forever grateful.

I knew God had called me to worship (leading and development), but I did not know where. I knew it was Him who provided money for school and was fully capable of taking it away, I just did not know when. And I knew He was the one who brought Tyson to me, I just did not know why. But now I do. I am seeing how it is all coming into play. I am seeing how the music of the orchestra is playing into this majestic symphony. So there is my heart, in its simplest form. And it our desire that our music will not be written in vain but that it will exemplify all of this. That we would not just talk about the Lord, but live life so that others do not need to hear our words. I will end with this well-known passage of Scripture as it brings everything into perspective of this bigger picture.

Psalm 23
The LORD is my shepherd,
I shall not want.
He makes me lie down in green pastures;
He leads me beside quiet waters.
He restores my soul;
He guides me in the paths of righteousness
For His name’s sake.
Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death,
I fear no evil, for You are with me;
Your rod and Your staff, they comfort me.
You prepare a table before me in the presence of my enemies;
You have anointed my head with oil;
My cup overflows.
Surely goodness and mercy will follow me all the days of my life,
And I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever.

With faith, hope, and love,

~Julianna

Oh My, Oh My

So lately I have found myself having so many things to say, but no time to actually sit down and write them out. But I am dedicating a good portion of my day tomorrow, (after devotions, work, and lessons) to sit and be still. To journal everything that God has been teaching me these last couple of weeks, and let me tell you, it is a lot!

God has a funny way of teaching me. He does not just teach me something once and then let it go. No, He places hints or remnants of that lesson all over every area of my life! It’s as if I cannot escape from it. But despite the frustration, it is rather humorous. God knows that I am not a one time learner, nor do things take root in my mind and heart very easily. So He lovingly reminds me of it all day, everyday, in every way, every conversation, every song, every verse. Sometimes I am overwhelmed at how He knows me so uniquely that the lessons He teaches are specified to my learning style. Some people, like my sister, only have to learn a lesson once. Once they hear it, it goes in, is pondered, and acted upon. Me, not so much.

So tomorrow I will be writing. I will continue to learn. I will continue to listen. And I will continue to allow the lessons God is trying to teach me to take root within my heart, mind, and soul. And I will report back so that you too can be encouraged to do the same.

What is God teaching you?
What common theme has been infiltrating your life recently?
What do your eyes need to be opened to?

With eagerness and anticipation,

~JH